2/1/21
10:33PM
I had just finished watching Minari directed by Lee Isaac Chung with cast that includes Steven Yuen, Yeri Han, and Alan Kim (currently 7 years old). Upon watching the trailer, I couldn’t wait to watch the film and thankfully I had the chance to stream it courtesy of A24 themselves.
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The film, Minari, revolves around a Korean family - immigrant parents, grandmother, son, and daughter moving to Arkansas in hopes to pursue the American dream. You see how their life unfolds little by little as they adjust to their new lives. They learned to adjust to their work, friends, and each other. I thought that it was a beautifully filmed piece, gentle to the touch with nuances to the Asian culture that struck more than a chord with me. Genuine moments scattered throughout the 2 hours in forms of frustration, humor, and love. The final moments of the film left me in tears as dots started to connect from one scene to the next. Minari was truly well done - a film that bridges the gap between this newer generation and the older one.
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Shortly after, I read a piece that my friend put together. I met him last week on the newest trendiest app called Clubhouse. He was a fellow Malaysian-Chinese American like me, and we related to each other in many facets. He shared with me a piece he wrote and photographed on his father who had passed towards the end of November 2019. The moment to read the piece felt right after watching the film.
It was a beautiful and unique type of eulogy. I cried as I scrolled through the 7 pages of emotions. My heart felt so heavy, and it truly went out to him. Nonetheless it was also a well needed reminder to be grateful for who I still had in my life. Thank you so much for sharing man.
Taken by Bruce Wain - @brucewain
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Throughout the span of January, I was stricken with so much sadness, with even perhaps borderline depression. There were feelings of guilt, hate, self loathing, love, respect that ate away at my very being. And I’m not usually this type of person. But I guess that’s normal when it comes to being human. I didn’t want to do much of anything for many many days, but I really did want to express my thoughts somehow in words when the time was right.
So here I want to write a letter to my future 7 year old son as if I was already a father. I hope that one day when I have a son or daughter at the age of 7, I can look back on this.
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February, 2nd 2021
Dear Son,
How was school today? What did you learn in class? Did you do anything fun with your friends? Tell me all about it! Daddy’s tired from work, but don’t worry I’ll listen to allllllll your stories. I think it’s going to snow a lot this weekend too, so maybe if I’m free I can take you sledding, what do you say?
I’m sorry that we haven’t spent a lot of time these days. Mommy’s done such an amazing job taking care of you and being there for you when I’m busy doing work. Make sure to give her an extra kiss for me and to remind her that she’s the best best best!
You’re going to grow up so fast in the blink of an eye and I want to be able to spend so much time with you before you’re a full grown adult like me. I know you want to grow up fast, but there’s no rush! I want to still be able to see you running up and giving me a big bear hug. I know I can get mad, but you know I’m sorry right? It can be frustrating for daddy and sometimes I just end up yelling at you. I’m sorry and I hope you forgive me. I would never want to see you sad and upset.
When you grow older and read this letter, I’ll be a little different. Time changes people. You’ll be different too. It doesn’t matter though, because you’ll still be my son. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t go to Harvard, if you don’t make a lot of money, if you have tattoos, if you’re not straight, if you have a medical condition, anything. Know that you can always come to me if you need to talk about anything. I know how it feels to want to able to able to talk to someone.
Remember that I’ll always be here for you and that I love you.
Love,
Your Dad, Sean