to my best friend

11/15/2022
10:45PM

It was only 24 hours ago, in which I was bursting out crying. Kenji, my beloved best friend, my dog, was taking his last breaths. For about only a minute, he was taking prolonged gasps of air. Then suddenly, the rhythm of the airflow to his ribcage slowed. His lips started to gently quiver. And the pulse on his neck came to a stop.

He passed at 10:45PM on 11/14/22.

But let’s backtrack about 1 hour beforehand. My dad messages my family chat saying that Kenji might be dying soon. I was almost done at the gym, but of course family comes first. I asked some questions in the chat, and it turns out that Kenji hasn’t eaten anything or drank water the entire day. He did not have the energy to. I knew right then and there that I had to go back to my parents’ house immediately, and by the time I got back it was 10:05PM. I’m so glad I did. It was like Kenji waited for me to come home, so we can all spend our last moment as a family saying Goodbye to him. I’m so happy I did.

The tears that are coming down my eyes are from grief. I miss him a lot. He grew up with me and my family, and we shared so many precious memories together. However, although thinking about him makes me sad, it also makes me happy. I cherished every single moment with him and made sure to do everything with no regrets.

We gave him an amazing life of 15 years and 9 months. It was a long life filled with walks, treats, pets, belly rubs, and play. Whenever I got the chance to, I would be in the backyard to play ball with him. It was his favorite thing to do. He would grab a ball and let it roll to me. Then I would gently kick it upwards to catch in his mouth. Of course he would catch it. Then the cycle would repeat until we get tired.

Ah, then when he had the zoomies. After every bath, he would be racing through the house - from the living room, through the hall, and into the study room. He would have those crazy beady eyes. I loved hearing his toenails clicking on the floor as he zoomed back and forth. And he smelled soooo good after his bath too. I’m sure he loved the feeling.

But I think the moments that I miss the absolute most with Kenji are when I would come home after a late night. Everybody’s asleep, but the dogs would wake up to greet me. Kenji would always spend the most time with me and we would just lie on the floor together. Sometimes before we do that, I would go down on my knees to his level, and while facing him place my head right next to his. I would give him scratches behind the ears, and tell him that I love him so much.

Rest in peace, Kenji. Dad, Mom, Bradley, and I love you so much. You really are a good dog.

My first Christmas with Kenji

Our first family photo with Kenji

I always love to hold Kenji’s paw when he sleeps

One of those late nights with my buddy

I remember how beautiful of a sunset this day was

A quick shakey shake after a bath

You can see that Kenji’s wearing a diaper here - he’s getting older

Kenji’s favorite game

a short trip

10/13/2022
12:15pm

I’ve been a fulltime freelance photographer for 8 months so far. It’s hard to believe it’s almost been 1 whole year without fully being in the corporate world.

These past 5 months, I haven’t logged down anything on my blog. You can say it was a combination of being kept busy with work, a lack of inspiration, and just wanting to focus more on my mental health (not to say that it’s been terrible or anything).

I was visiting Chicago couple weeks back and it was my first time there. Now I just can’t wait to go back. This was the first time that I was traveling by myself for vacation while working as a fulltime photographer, and I’d say it was a really good refresher for me. Frankly speaking, I’d recommend it to anybody! Just go for a couple of days by yourself, and for yourself.

Right by Lake Michigan

Where Kevin took me and Jon after my 1st Deep Dish (It was good, and it was because it’s from Pequad’s)

The Chicago hospitality was absolutely impeccable. I stayed there for a week with my friend Kevin Tee and I’m so appreciative of him! One of my favorite memories is when we would spend our evenings just watching The Bear on Hulu. We had no idea it was a show based out in Chicago, and we had no idea that it was going to be SO GOOD of a show. Besides that, he showed me around the city when he wasn’t working and we even spent the weekend going to his alma mater, University of Purdue, for homecoming. I got to experience what it was like going to a college in the middle of nowhere surrounded by cornfields. Shoutouts to JP for hosting us when we were there! We literally drank for the entire day and started at 6am. SIX IN THE MORNING. Was it something else? Yes. Would I do it again? No.

Mr. Beef where The Bear was filmed

Under the Bean

Took an architecture tour at the Frederick C. Robie House

University of Chicago, my dream school which I got rejected from…

OH. We basically started drinking from 6am because there was a football game going on that evening, and it’s just Purdue tradition, or maybe Indiana tradition, or maybe middle-of-nowhere tradition. Besides that game being my first college football game I ever attended, it was also my first football game in general that I ever attended! AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. From the student energy, to the chanting, to the camaraderie that was shared amongst everybody when a touchdown was scored by the Boilermakers (their team) - just incredible. Would I go to another college football game? Yeah, absolutely!

~10:00AM at THE Neon Cactus

~7:30PM at Homecoming Game

~9:00PM with the Boys

I’m also kind of spitting all this out from my brain as it goes, but backtracking a bit here… The evening before Kevin and I drove down to Purdue, we got to dine out at Kasama. This was the first Michelin starred Filipino restaurant in the world ever! My other friend, Kevin Yoo, got me last minute reservations the evening before, which just put me in awe (he’s a chef there!). And that was only the first part of the experience that put me in awe of course. The entire dining experience to the hospitality of the staff there also did the same. And the food, PFT, OF COURSE. Not only all of that, but to be able to bring my friend Kevin Tee there was so wonderful to me. We’re both foodies, so to enjoy each other’s company and to chat about the dishes there was great. He’s also Filipino, and to be able to dine at a restaurant that represents his culture in such a high caliber was very special to him. So thank you so very much to Chef Kevin for bringing us such joy with your family there at Kasama.

Kasama Staff

Halo-Halo at Kasama

Backtracking even more, I got to catch up with some of my dancer friends Colin, Ellaine, and Emjay. All these guys I met in NYC before through taking dance class together. Just as I spent time with them post dance class with me in the Big Apple, they put out the same time and energy with me out in the Windy City aka CHICAGO! Even though we talked for so much, I feel like there’s still so much we didn’t talk about and I can’t wait to see them again! As a fellow creative, I can’t help but beam with pride for my friends whenever I hear about the new gigs they’ve just finished or are just starting. I think it’s so important for us to push each other, and part of our journey of growing is these moments of interacting with one another outside of the creative space. I took some amazing photos of them, and they shared such beautiful feedback back to me!

Emjay Mendez and Ellaine Marie

Colin Orofeo

That all happened 3 weeks ago and now I’m back in my 570 sq ft unit that I call home. I’m grateful for everyone’s love, and it’s also encouraged me to open up my home more often to others whenever they come over and visit this city that I love so much. My short trip was one that I enjoyed dearly, and I hope that I can pass on that love when they visit.

A Beautiful Sunset from Kevin Tee’s Balcony

A Nostalgic Love

5/15/2022
1:53am

Today was a hard day for me.

I’m currently sitting on a bench at a park near my house at this time. I’m typing away at my phone as I sit here in the entirety of my feelings and tears.

This was the last spot my ex and I sat and talked about our most honest and truest feelings before never seeing each other again. It’s hard. I shot a beautiful wedding and a proposal today, and seeing so much pure love and happiness gets you in that mood too (at least for me). However, when you’re going through getting over someone that you loved, it’s so tough. I’m only human you know?

I’m trying hard to get over our break up, but I just have to take it day by day, week by week, month by month. It’s a process, I know. But it hurts so much. And please please don’t title me as the victim. I’ve done my fair share to have made mistakes in our now past relationship of ours. It’s going to take time to heal and move on, but I also want to be true to these feelings of mine at this very moment, so that down the line I can truly reflect and grow.

At around 7:00pm, as I was getting off my train station today, I looked up into the misty drizzle and was put immediately into my feels. I looked back at the precious conversation I had with the groom today. It was only me and him, and he told me he never knew he was able to find the “right one” for him. He never did believe the “when you know, you know” feeling when it came to a significant other. And it wasn’t until he came across his now WIFE (I’m still so happy for them). But it took trials and tribulations. It gives me hope. Although I may not see the light now, I can see a light shimmer in the distance.

And as I walked by this very park I’m sitting in earlier today, I passed by beautiful bushels of newly bloomed flowers - pink and flourishing in the grey misty atmosphere. I realized it was the very same bushel I gifted my ex way back when. So I’m just going to share these photos that I took at the park, cause I found it to be really sentimental to me.

Life isn’t easy, and I’ve never expected it to be. I have faith and confidence in my future though and I won’t give up on love. I’ll continue to be patient and allow all my necessary healing to transpire. Here’s to love. Let’s not give up on it.

A Peaceful Passing

4/28/2022
2:07PM

On 4/17/22, Sunday morning, Shun Kong Chee passed away peacefully in his sleep. It was Easter Sunday, which was a beautiful day to return to his Lord and Savior. He lived on this Earth for 95 years.

Shun Kong Chee was my grandfather, but he was much more than that. He was a father, husband, brother, son, friend, and the list goes on. I realized this when attending his funeral last week, 4/24. The room was surrounded with beautiful flowers from so many individuals who knew him and offered their condolences. There were many who came to pay their respects in person as well. We’re thankful for everybody who came to say their last farewells.

I was overjoyed to see many of my relatives who I haven’t seen since before the pandemic happened. My immediate family, grandparents, and father’s side of the family met every week in Chinatown to celebrate what it meant to be a family over dinner. Because of the pandemic, each family would visit my grandparents separately throughout the week tending to their needs and keeping them company.

It all started one evening in January, my grandfather fell, had a heart attack and had to be emitted to the hospital. From there, he went to a rehab center/nursing home and remained till his passing. The heart attack was sudden, and the only other thing that hindered him at this age was his difficulty to walk. Our families would continue to take care and tend to him. My father especially, the eldest in the set of 4 brothers, would be there almost every evening to feed him. Whenever I found time, I made sure to go and be by his side as well. The last interaction I had with him, I kissed him on the forehead goodbye. Strangely enough, I found myself growing closer to my family in this time of uncertainty. I wanted to be there as a son and a grandson.

——

This was my first funeral from a family member and it’s something that’s hitting me a lot more than I expected. I attended one of my friend’s funeral back when I was in college, and that wasn’t easy either of course. May he Rest in Peace. However partaking in the Chinese cultural traditions, it was a different experience.

My father coordinated just about all the funeral preparations and at least from our spendings, we paid for the casket, burial vault (what surrounds the casket to prevent erosion/decay), our flowers, transportation to the burial site, and their services. There were other things to consider too such as drinks and food that we purchased from a local Chinese bakery. In total, it was a lot a lot of money - easily a couple thousand dollars.

Here are some things that I’ve taken away from my experience:
Please note that my grandfather is Christian, so not all things may apply to other funeral services.

  • My grandfather’s children and their immediate family all had to wear a black ribbon on our left sleeve to indicate that we’re in a period of mourning.

  • At the wake, white envelopes filled with money are given from the guests to the family of the deceased. The money inside has to an amount of an odd number. An even number represents a cycle, and given that an individual has just passed, we wouldn’t want that to happen again anytime soon. For example: $101 $501 $1,501.

  • Chinese burial money served as a cosmic map for the deceased to ascent to the heavens. We would all put a couple of quarters in my grandfather’s pocket when wishing him farewell. My father even brought a casino chip because my grandfather frequented the casino.

  • When paying our respects, we would bow 3 times. This means that we pay a great deal of respect to the one we bow to.

  • Right before the casket is closed, my grandmother, dad, mom uncles, and aunts all laid a burial blanket over my grandfather. Then my cousins and I laid a second one over him.

  • A pallbearer are those responsible for carrying the casket. I believe anybody can be one, but those who worked in the funeral home did this. However they did require 6 individuals, my cousins and I, to wear white gloves and stand outside the funeral home by the casket (never in front), as it was delivered into the hearse. Not sure what the term is here. We were given these white gloves, along with a white envelope that contained a red envelope. We kept the red envelope for good luck and the gloves had to be placed in the white envelope and throw into the burial alongside the casket.

  • My grandfather and everybody who was in the funeral transportation were driven around Chinatown and then to his home as a final farewell and remembrance before we drove off to the burial site.

  • As the casket is lowered to the ground, we all had to turn around as a form of respect.

  • At the burial, my grandmother, grandfather’s children, and spouses were in the front line. My cousins and I were in the second line. And everybody else in the back. We took our pinned black ribbons and put in on a rose to throw into the burial ground.

  • Upon leaving, a candy and coin wrapped in white paper were given to each of us. The candy is some sweetness to help with the bitter day and the coin is meant to be spent immediately to pass on good luck and fortune to others.

  • A dinner/meal was held on both days on the wake and burial to celebrate the life of my grandfather! This is open to anybody who would like to attend.

  • The eldest son, my dad, must take the photo of my grandfather and hang it in a high place of the house. This means that he’s overseeing everything there.


I learned a lot during this event and hopefully I can share some knowledge with everybody too.

——


I miss you 爺爺 (yeye). You were always so gentle and kind, and I believe these traits were passed on to me. We had a minor language barrier, but we somehow always chatted about the simple things. We conversed in Cantonese asking if we were full yet, how we were doing that day, how school/work has been, etc. From my knowledge, I’ve never heard you raise your voice. When I told you about my work, and passion for photography, you’ve always been supportive - as long as I was happy. Even my hair length! Grandma complained about it, but you were always okay with it as long as I was. Thank you so much for raising your children to how they are today, and ultimately me. We’re all grieving, but we’re happy that you lived your life to the fullest and fought for a long life to the very end.


Dad told me that during your last couple days with us, you would constantly say you wanted to go home. You had such an urge that you somehow even had the strength to lift yourself to be upright on the bed. For the whole last couple months, you were never able to do this. And then when you took your final drive past your apartment in Chinatown, I broke down. I had no idea we were going to do this. It made me so happy that you were able to go back for one last time because that was your final wish.

Rest in Peace, yeye. We miss and love you so much. Till we see each other down the line.

New Beginnings, Kinda

2/4/2022
12:05PM

It’s a light drizzle sort of a day today. It doesn’t look ominous like one of those dark and stormy night type of a mood. Instead it’s refreshing. We had a lot of snow this past week, and we could really use this nice cleanse of rain. 

I’m sitting in my living room on the couch glancing back and forth at my window and computer screen. I’m working from home. However if you haven’t heard, I’m no longer employed at Na:eun Hospitality Group. I was doing social media management and marketing for their restaurants Atoboy and Atomix, until their management left a really bad taste in my mouth. I did what I could to bring change towards the situation, but ultimately decided to leave the company. I realized that it just wasn’t worth my mental health, and I wanted to be part of something that accepted me. 

—

Life isn’t easy, and things happen to even the best of us. In order to pursue that role, I made the difficult move to leave my wonderful company of 4 years, PixleeTurnto. It’s one of the top in their industry, had supportive people there, and even paid more than the job I moved into. However, I decided to chase my dreams and pursue something that I thought I wanted to do. So yeah, this isn’t a success story, but maybe it kind of is. ??????

—

When I was about to quit Na:eun, I decided to reach back out to PixleeTurnTo to explain my situation and see if they may have anything open. It turns out they had something part-time, which was JUST what I was looking for.

With all this happening, I couldn’t help but feel like this were supposed to happen for a reason. Ever since I received my first paid gig in photography back in 2016, I really never intended to go into being a photographer full-time. Sure there was the whole “not making enough money” thing, but more than anything I didn’t want photography to end up being something I resented. I didn’t want to lose my passion for it if it were to become the breadwinning tool. However, after doing it for many days post work hours or on the weekends, I never seemed to lose energy when on gigs or after them. Most of all, I was always happy. I was happy capturing memories, creating smiles, and delivering images I was proud of. 

Before I made the nerve wracking decision, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t being rash either. I consulted a number of my friends about this, many being freelancers themselves. I had hours of conversations and received much reassurance whether it be to my hard work ethics, my status of age, or my so called talented eye for things. If it ever failed, I could always just hit the drawing board and go full time under a company again. And so I made the decision to go full throttle to dedicate my time and energy to making money doing the thing I love most.

I was going to tell my parents perhaps a year later. AHA However, I ended up surprising myself and told them 2 weeks after because I felt like they would actually understand me. To an even bigger surprise, they supported me. It made me truly happy that they just wanted to be happy and that they believed that I could make it happen. For them to not just accept it, but to support it, moved mountains for me. It really allowed me to release that burden in feeling like I would disappoint them. We never want to disappoint our parents, but I believe that having an Asian culture, it really hits differently when we say the phrase. It’s this sort of an invisible pressure. Anyways, this just may have been the final catalyst I needed to my career kickoff formula. 

—

It’s approximately 36 hours since I started writing this blog post and I’m finishing it up at about 2:00AM. I know the journey will be rough. I’m going to have my successes and I forsure I’m going to have my failures. I’ll pick myself back up. I’ll have a community to help pick me up and I’ll be there for them whenever they need it as well.

I’m really excited guys. I’m going to give it my all as always, but let’s see what these next couple months have in store for me. You can wish me luck, but by the time you’re done wishing I’ll be on to my next project. I’ll be doing this for my parents, my culture, my community, my friends, and most importantly for me.

Forward to success. 

—

Seen below are some of my most recent work I’ve done these past few months. I want to add them to remind myself that I’m putting out good work and that more work will continue to come.

a thank you

11/27/2021
5:44pm

This past week has just been different for me. I just left my job at Pixlee Turnto and am awaiting my new job at the Ato Hospitality Group to start in the beginning of December. You can say that I’m not working now, and that I’m on this break sort of a mode. I wake up every morning just sort of going to my own rhythm and it’s been really pleasant. My own rhythm still includes work though - finishing up my photo edits, finally getting to my Spain vlogs from 2019, and suddenly planning my spontaneous trip to Colombia.

I did just have my photo exhibition too. And with that said, I want to do a quick reflection and thank certain individuals…

It’s been a great past couple of months with all the fellows and staff from the Bridge program. I got to meet bright creative individuals of all sorts of age groups. To be able to learn from some of the best in the industry without having to cough up a dime from my pocket (except from MTA fees), was truly a blessing. Justin, the lead of the program, and Duane, my mentor, took the time and the patience to make sure our needs were met. They made sure that we were in that program with a purpose, and gave us the resources we needed to continue our photography career. Through different affiliations and organizations I’ve involved myself in my lifetime so far, I recognize how much more important leadership really is. So thank you to you 2, and to the rest of the staff who have taken a chance on us. 

Finally, I just want to thank my family and girlfriend, Teresa. My mother, father, brother, and grandparents were the individuals I showcased in my first ever photo exhibition. Wow. One. It was so surreal seeing my work physically up and about amongst my peers. Two. To have my family be featured as the first one is something that I wouldn’t ever change. It’s an honor to represent my own culture and family through a passion of mine. It’s strange to say, but through this project I’ve grown more comfortable with these people I call my family. Teresa has been supporting me every step of the way even before the project began, and I truly truly cherish that. It’s not one’s responsibility to be a family person. To me, though, I hold that symbol of family close to my heart. I want to continue to do right as a son, brother, grandson, boyfriend in whatever I do. This is the first showcase of mine, but it won’t be the last. Excited for what the future holds in store for me. 

exhibition

11/19/2021
5:13PM

We are less than one hour from opening the doors to my FIRST ever photo exhibition. It’s my final project for my photography class by BKC and ASMP and it’s been such a learning experience for myself these past several months with industry leaders and my peers who’s learning side by side with me.

For this specific project of mine that I chose as my final, I wanted it to revolve around my family. My family has always been something near and dear to my heart since I was a kid, like most other individuals I’m sure. However, my immediate family, as well as extended family, would always see each other once every week. We’d center it all around my grandparents who live in Chinatown.

This pandemic hasn’t been the most pleasant for myself either. I’ve always been living in my childhood home. Having to be around my immediate family even more than usual was just really toxic towards my health. I couldn’t get a break and eventually it caused there to be a lot of tension understandably so. I tried my best. I really did after the first few months of the pandemic to make amends and reflect over my actions as someone of the same blood.

With this project around my family, I wanted to further propel my amends somehow. I wanted to rediscover what it meant to be a son and a brother by capturing some of the intimate moments between us, and to simply talk and listen which can’t be shown by mere images. I wanted to put not my best work out with my showcase, but the work I considered my proudest.

These series of photos also include my first time ever taking portrait images of my mother, father, brother, paternal grandmother, and paternal grandfather. It’s something that I’ll hold dear to my heart. Through this project, I even discovered that my grandfather loved taking photos of our family gatherings when I was younger with his film camera. And he loved it too. I never noticed this, and he actually ended up passing it down to me. Seeing him now home ridden due to old age and bad mobility, really makes me want to continue to pursue the things that I love such as photography.

From up to down, left to right:
1A. My dog, Mocha, going upstairs to wake my mother up from her sleep.
My mom would leave her hand by the side of the bed, so Mocha can lick it.

1B. My brother, Bradley, having his portraiture taken in his childhood room.
We’ve grown up under the same roof, and have slept in the same room. As I grew older, I moved into the guest room while he stayed put.

2A. My mother and brother coming back from the Fresh Meadows Library.
Growing up, the 3 of us would always go to the library to spend many hours. The internet wasn’t as plentiful back then, but I always loved books as well. Mystery and fantasy were my go to. Going back this time around, I ended up borrowing an epic book by Annie Leibovitz.

2B. A family portraiture of my immediate family.
This was the first photo that was taken within that first couple of minutes. My father was the one who initiated that we should all be closer and we all ended up giving off such genuine smiles.

2C. My self-portrait in my room.
The entire second floor of my family home was designed and built solely by my dad. When I was younger he had a photo of me and my brother taken with him of this corner of the room when it was still under renovation. During the pandemic, I spent most of my time in this corner doing my work.

3A. A photo of my immediate family in an elevator heading up to my grandparents house.
I’ve been heading up this elevator almost every week to visit them.

3B. My grandparents, having their portraiture taken.
They were happy to have their shots taken, and as soon as I was ready to take their photo, both of them had their hands gently placed in their laps. My mom said that they knew they were getting their photos professionally taken like how they would back in the day.

3C. A photo of my dad talking to my grandma.
My grandma’s hearing is basically close to none now. In order to communicate, my dad bought a tablet and speaks Mandarin into the app, so that the Chinese characters would appear on the screen for my grandma to read it. We primarily speak Cantonese and Taishanese there.

4A. My father, Christopher, having his portraiture taken in the study room.
This is where my dad spends most of his time, whether that be watching documentaries, doing his work, or chatting with family members across the seas. Above him is a painting of horses that he previously obtained. He told me once when I was a kid, that horses are a symbolism of power and wealth.

4B. A family portraiture of my immediate family.
I had my family pose with our hands extended out to our knees because I felt that although we’re a family, sometimes it felt very stagnant. We’d be family but always just barely with our shoulders grazing.

4C. My dad is drying my other dog, Kenji, after a shower.
Kenji is 13 years old now and we’ve had him since he was a puppy. Nowadays his hind legs won’t work as well as it did before. He limps around and can no longer climb stairs. Although my dad is just drying him, he’s always been the support to my dog and have catered to his needs.

5A. My mother, Janet, having her portraiture taken in the bedroom.
I had my mom sit on this rocking chair, which I vaguely remember falling asleep in her arms in when I was younger. It just sits in their bedroom now with clothes getting stacked on top of it. I think this photo with the light gently  embracing my mother’s face looks heavenly.

5B. My mom is sleeping in the car as we make our weekly drive to Chinatown.  
My mom always works hard and as she gets older, I notice her being more and more tired. I’m happy whenever she gets a chance to rest. At this moment, the car is just getting off to Williamsburg Bridge.

6 month recap

10/8/2021
2:20PM

I haven’t written a blog post since March 2021. April. May. June. July. August. September. October. 7 whole months. I didn’t even realize it was a hiatus of over half a year. My goal has been to write up 12 blog posts in total, a benchmark of one per month. I have about 3 months left, and I’m determined to try and reach the finish line with flying colors.

So I guess it’s only fair to give you all an update on what’s been happening on my end yeah? 

TIME SKIP

11/12/2021

Andddd so another month has passed and I’m back here finishing up this post. My mentality RIGHT now is let’s just give the people an update in the next 10 minutes before I go out and celebrate a friend’s birthday. Best to just get it out of the way. To make that check off my to do list. To bang it out. So here goes nothing.

TIME SKIP AGAIN

11/18/2021

Turns out I had to pull some photos from my old phone, and I was too pressed on time to finish it all. Here goes nothing - Round 2.

———

April 2021
I was fortunate enough to be part of Facebook’s Campaign for Asian Pacific American Heritage Month through being an active member of the group Asian Creative Network. It was my first time being on the flip side of the camera, and boy was it challenging being one of the talents! Through this, I learned to respect the models that I shoot at a whole other level. I also got to meet many other talented and special individuals from other Asian centered Facebook groups. What made me even happier though was the fact that there were so many people who looked like me who were actually involved in making this project come to life.

May 2021
Took a trip with some of the besties and others over to Cape Cod, Massachusetts. Shoutouts to Big Dawg Alpha for driving my group - Anne, Teresa, and I there and also Tiffany for the ride back! It was my first time there, and what a joy it was to be spending time with individuals who I love and care for. Just being away from my responsibilities back in NYC was so restful. That was the last time we did a trip like this, and I cannot wait for the next one down the line.

June 2021

It was my first time being involved with East Side Stories! Plus it was something special to me. This project was specifically for the restaurant group, ATO, for an event of theirs that was partnered with San Pelligrino. It was called On The Line, which welcomed over 50 NYC line cooks for a night of community, inspiration, and hospitality. It was a night that honored the important work that line cooks do to elevate the entire restaurant industry. I think that this industry is one that deserves so much recognition through their rigorous work and skill. I’ve been a fan of ATO for so long. AND East Side Stories is a bunch of young creatives that have such a beautiful mission of telling unheard stories.

Here’s a link to my shots on their Instagram Story!

July 2021
I MOVE OUT! I’ve been looking forward to this day for so so long. I think especially with the pandemic, and being stuck at home 24/7 with my family, it just really irked me in ways I didn’t know was possible. I’ve been so patient for all these years. So many of my friends either moved out during college or right after college, and had this taste of freedom. I wanted to do that too. Believe me, I love my independence and just want to do the things I want. However, I honored my parents' decision for wanting to help me buy a place. And although I’m nothing but grateful, I never did mind struggling or putting in the work. I just wanted to be happy. I’m a very fortunate individual and I’m so thankful. Here I am - in Woodside, Queens. I’ll cherish every square foot and memory I’ll get to create here. 

August 2021

East Side Stories is back. And this time we’re taking the experience over to Iceland! A short film was being shot there and they needed a photographer, as well as an audio guy to assist for the weeklong project. It was an unforgettable time there. Our team put in so much work to get whatever we needed to get done. Early mornings to late night, and none stop driving from shoot location A to B all the way to Z. I learned how WORK every individual in a production team puts in and that movies, tv shows, commercials, etc would NOT be possible without the help of these lovely individuals. Anddddd yeah the country is just beautiful - for miles and miles long. 

September 2021

Teresa and I take a mini road trip! We took a weekend trip celebrating our 1 year anniversary as a cute couple through the cities of Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington DC. It was my first time being in the latter 2 cities, and I’m so happy I got to spend this new memory with my lovely girlfriend. We explored and took lots of photos. I’m just happy that we got to share that special moment between the two of us.

October 2021

For the final month here, I just continued to be grateful and blessed with more opportunities bestowed upon me. I love my life, truly. It’s never perfect for me, and I can guarantee you it’s not perfect for anybody out there living there in this world. However, I strive only to look towards the positive things in life, while striving to become a better me. No other words needed here. I think the photos are proof enough.

i just want to help

2/25/2021
5:30PM

Via Instagram DM…

Sean: Hope everything’s well and you’re doing safe!

Maggie: Thank you! You too! It’s crazy out there! I am going to the protest this sat with my friend and hopefully it will make some difference. Be careful out there!

Sean: Can you send me details on the protest? I didn’t know there was one going on.

---

Although Maggie Xue and I did not meet at the rally (not protest) hosted by AAF, we still chatted with one another. It was mainly through us sharing thoughts with one another when the other individual posted about a hate crime that happened within the AAPI (Asian Americans and Pacific Islander Americans) community.

When I shared about my birthday donation fundraiser to Heart of Dinner, she sparked a conversation with me about wanting to raise money for the family of 46 years old Yong Zheng, a victim of an Asian hate crime.

Maggie: Yea he died of stepping up for others and lost his own life. Left his family without any source of income. Yea he’s so young. I will talk with my team and see how can we help.

---

Soon after on March 16th, Us Two Tea was partnering with Activist Teahouse to raise money for the family of Zheng. 100% of the proceeds of the tea will be donated to them. More details can be found here. Please consider being a part of this education, discussion, and change. 

After Maggie told me about this event, we decided to meet in person over some lunch at Noodle Village in Chinatown. This is one of the default places that she and JJ, Us Two Tea’s editor, always take their friends while in NYC! It was also going to be me first time meeting them, since social media is just such a powerful tool for connecting with one another.

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Tell me about Us Two Tea! How did it come about?

Tea is at the heart of Asian culture and it has always been a part of my life, yet the tea brands we know and love are not Asian. I think It is our generation’s responsibility to claim our culture and create a brand that represents us. I wanted to bring forth a really beautiful, high-quality product that could appeal to the new generations of tea drinkers here in America.

Since JJ, your editor, is also here, how did you 2 meet? And how many people are on the team?

We were ex-roommates in 2018 when I first started Us Two Tea. We have 12 people on the team right now, 2 full-time and JJ as the part-time editor. There’s also 9 interns working for Us Two Tea. 

Is Us Two Tea your full-time job?

Yes, I put my heart and soul in it! 

How has your company been doing these days, especially during the pandemic?

The pandemic didn't affect us because we are all e-commerce. I think the pandemic really shifts how people shop and expect from brands. They care more about the brand value, mission, and supporting local small businesses during these difficult times.

Tell me about the tea campaign that you’re raising money for Yong Zheng’s family?

We have partnered with Activist Teahouse's Project Tea for Change to support the Asian American community. On Saturday, April 10th, we’re offering a traditional tea tasting event. 100% of proceeds from the Blossom Tea Set will go to the wife and children of Yong Zheng - a Chinese immigrant, bus driver, and the sole provider of his family - who was fatally stabbed while trying to stop a robbery in March. Register for the event here.

How do you think others can help during these times?

Talk about this issue with your family and friends. Have that difficult conversation, donate, go to a protest and use your voice on social media to raise awareness. 

What has been your fondest memory with tea? Do you have a favorite flavor?

Baozhong tea is my favorite! It was a ritual for my grandpa and I to drink tea together every weekend after our family dinner. I remember he would always ask me the same question, “How’s school?”, and I would always answer, “Good!”. That was our conversation. But I looked forward to it every weekend because I knew that was his way of saying “I love you”. People say food can transport you back to your childhood. For me, Baozhong is more than an afternoon tea, it is also a loving memory. 

---

Here are only a few of many many other AAPI Organizations to consider looking into:

It’s been a really really hard couple of weeks, and even months, for the AAPI community. With what my bandwidth is right now, honestly I am doing a lot. But is it wrong to say that I still feel like it’s not enough? There’s just so much pain right now amongst us and it really makes me uncomfortable seeing us suffer. So I want to help, and keep helping until hopefully things get better.

I hope whoever reads this feels this too. Again, please consider donating to Us Two Tea’s cause and to participate in their discussion to bring change on Saturday April 10th. Hope to see some of you all on field with me. And if you don’t really know how to start, please please reach out! Let’s have a friendly conversation. We can catch up and just have an engaging time with one another.

As always, stay safe and vigilant.

To stay connected and updated with Us Two Tea, follow them here.

getting hurt is all part of growing up

2/1/21
10:33PM

I had just finished watching Minari directed by Lee Isaac Chung with cast that includes Steven Yuen, Yeri Han, and Alan Kim (currently 7 years old). Upon watching the trailer, I couldn’t wait to watch the film and thankfully I had the chance to stream it courtesy of A24 themselves.

SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/A24subscribeFrom writer/director Lee Isaac Chung and starring Steven Yeun, Yeri Han, Alan Kim, Noel Kate Cho, and Yuh-Jung Youn. MIN...

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The film, Minari, revolves around a Korean family - immigrant parents, grandmother, son, and daughter moving to Arkansas in hopes to pursue the American dream. You see how their life unfolds little by little as they adjust to their new lives. They learned to adjust to their work, friends, and each other. I thought that it was a beautifully filmed piece, gentle to the touch with nuances to the Asian culture that struck more than a chord with me. Genuine moments scattered throughout the 2 hours in forms of frustration, humor, and love. The final moments of the film left me in tears as dots started to connect from one scene to the next. Minari was truly well done - a film that bridges the gap between this newer generation and the older one.

---

Shortly after, I read a piece that my friend put together. I met him last week on the newest trendiest app called Clubhouse. He was a fellow Malaysian-Chinese American like me, and we related to each other in many facets. He shared with me a piece he wrote and photographed on his father who had passed towards the end of November 2019. The moment to read the piece felt right after watching the film. 

It was a beautiful and unique type of eulogy. I cried as I scrolled through the 7 pages of emotions. My heart felt so heavy, and it truly went out to him. Nonetheless it was also a well needed reminder to be grateful for who I still had in my life. Thank you so much for sharing man.

Taken by Bruce Wain - @brucewain

Taken by Bruce Wain - @brucewain

---

Throughout the span of January, I was stricken with so much sadness, with even perhaps borderline depression. There were feelings of guilt, hate, self loathing, love, respect that ate away at my very being. And I’m not usually this type of person. But I guess that’s normal when it comes to being human. I didn’t want to do much of anything for many many days, but I really did want to express my thoughts somehow in words when the time was right. 

So here I want to write a letter to my future 7 year old son as if I was already a father. I hope that one day when I have a son or daughter at the age of 7, I can look back on this.


---


February, 2nd 2021

Dear Son,

How was school today? What did you learn in class? Did you do anything fun with your friends? Tell me all about it! Daddy’s tired from work, but don’t worry I’ll listen to allllllll your stories. I think it’s going to snow a lot this weekend too, so maybe if I’m free I can take you sledding, what do you say?

I’m sorry that we haven’t spent a lot of time these days. Mommy’s done such an amazing job taking care of you and being there for you when I’m busy doing work. Make sure to give her an extra kiss for me and to remind her that she’s the best best best!

You’re going to grow up so fast in the blink of an eye and I want to be able to spend so much time with you before you’re a full grown adult like me. I know you want to grow up fast, but there’s no rush! I want to still be able to see you running up and giving me a big bear hug. I know I can get mad, but you know I’m sorry right? It can be frustrating for daddy and sometimes I just end up yelling at you. I’m sorry and I hope you forgive me. I would never want to see you sad and upset.

When you grow older and read this letter, I’ll be a little different. Time changes people. You’ll be different too. It doesn’t matter though, because you’ll still be my son. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t go to Harvard, if you don’t make a lot of money, if you have tattoos, if you’re not straight, if you have a medical condition, anything. Know that you can always come to me if you need to talk about anything. I know how it feels to want to able to able to talk to someone.

Remember that I’ll always be here for you and that I love you. 

Love,

Your Dad, Sean



reflection

December 28th, 2020
4:24PM

2020 was rough for many people. Battles were lost and tears were shed. It took a lot of readjusting in order to get back on our feet. Some lost jobs, some lost family members, some lost opportunities. It really sucks and my heart goes out to everybody. But that doesn’t mean everything was an L.

As the year comes to an end, I want to do a quick self-reflection on this past year for myself. I turned 25 years young this year and I’ve never been more clear headed in my life. This could also be my hindsight speaking, but who knows. Quarter life crisis things.

I’ve gone from an extraverted social butterfly in the beginning of the year to a hermit who comes out to catch a breath of fresh air every once in a blue moon. I’ve probably spent 25 times the amount of time in my room this year compared to last. I honestly would have never thought. Staying at home has its ups and downs of course. I’ve learned how important it is to have my own space within the Chee household. I cannot stand my family at times, yet I’m so appreciative for their love and support not matter how suffocating it can be. 2020 was definitely a year in which I spent more time with my family than I planned to in my mid 20s. From my immediate family, to my grandparents, and even with my dogs.

Something also really important that I think I’ve gotten a hang of is creating a fostering environment of my own, so that I can self-motivate myself and keep my own goals on track. Whenever I can, I’ll ask myself how can I could potentially better myself, others and the situation at hand.

  • How can I be nicer to others?

  • What else can I learn?

  • What else can I do today?

  • Can I be more efficient?

  • How can I help?

  • Do I need to take a step back?

  • Do I need a break for today?

By no means am I perfect, I’m far from it. I know. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t ask myself these questions and improve. It’s not a competition with others. It’s just me against who I was the day before. People’s thoughts and opinions don’t concern me. I’ll take them into consideration, but at the end of the day it is my life.

2021 is just around the corner. 2020 sucked, but I made the best of what it was and that’s what mattered. This entire year, I got to be in touch with a ton of amazing individuals. When you and I have a conversation, you find a place in my mind and in my heart. You literally changed me. So know that I appreciate every single one of you for making me who I am this year. It’s impossible to remember every single moment I had this year, but with the help of my calendar I compiled a list below of you guys. It isn’t everyone of course, but thank you and I hope our paths cross in the coming year as well.  

Also here are some of my accomplishments from my 2020 annual report:

  • Raised $1,755 for Organizations

  • Written 9 Blog Posts (Goal was 12)

  • Completed 38 Photoshoots

  • Completed 15 Dance Workshops

  • Completed 3 Online Courses

  • Held 2 Photography Workshops

  • Held 3 Social Media Positions

  • Lost 20 Pounds

  • Busted 1 Ankle

  • Cherished Many Many Moments

Hoping to use these to bench mark myself to achieve even more down the line.
See you next year friends.

George
Carter
Dan
Grace
Adham
Mike
Ted
Ben
Keanu
Maggie
Bryan
Grace
Haesol
Jane
Albert
William
Darien
Sunbin
Dan
Samuel
Kevin
Jeff
Jill
Isabel
Alex
Josh
Emia
Tony
Nina
Mischelle
Jason
Chiemi
Stephanie
Alan
Carmen
Tanya
Wesley
Keen
Liz
Ian
Juliette
Gerrie
Thuy
Daniel
Claire
Faisal
Rashad
Victoria
Alex
Allison
Chae
Wilson
Jessica
Sharon
John
Tia
Christy
Kevin
Elizabeth
Kamy
Daniel
Vickii
Niu
Andrew
Lydia
Sinian
Alpha
Anne
Sadakat
Maxine
Connie
Jay
Kemy
Anna
Joeleen
Jen
Juliette
Taryn
Eileen
Ariel
Jessica
Norman
Justin
Han Ju
Sean
Lanny
Marcus
Amanda
Matt
Celina
Jen
Luz
Yoo
Robyn
Joy
Andrew
Eddie
Kirsten
Hikaru
Courtney
Laura
Brandon
Neil
Nikhil
Stina
Andrew
Puja
Kay
Kevin
Omar
Jacob
Sarah
Jelena
Sachi
Kian
Arnold
Justin
Ying
Lena
Kiera
Kia
Kristina
Angel
Haru
Kristine
Laura
Maiko
Jessica
Billy
Teresa
Tanya
Kevin
Minh Ahn
Donald
Wesley
Brian
Jane
Kelly
Bradley
Whitney
Kristina
Renjie
Mona
Priscilla
Blake
Anna
James
Alvin
Tony
Kevin
Adam
Sam
Kevin
Logan
Tiffany
Sam
Ronnie
Amy
Maverick
Marvin
Teresa
Kelbert
Vincent
Noelle
Joanna
Ziquan
Yoon
Rica
Kripa
Debset
Cody
Haiting
Gina
Lynn
+ Chinese Class
+ THEM Boiz
+ Pixlee Folks
+ Family

🙏

a slice and an ice

October 13th, 2020
10:00AM

Ever since I was a couple months old till now, I’ve resided in Fresh Meadows. For 25 years of my life I’ve been a local. I attended PS 26, PS 173, and MS 216. It wasn’t until high school, in which I always found myself commuting back and forth to the city.

Back then, to get to school, I would always be walking down a couple blocks from 64th Ave. This combined with that fact that my parents would always lecture me to eat at home when in the area to save money made me not walk down Horace Harding Expressway as often. That didn’t mean I wasn’t aware of all the local businesses in my neighborhood though. There was Bagel Oasis, Tokyo Hibachi, Fresh Meadows Halal Meat & Grocery, and of course Brother’s Pizzeria.

As much of a foodie and advocate of the community that I was, I can’t believe I had never set foot in there. During my infrequent walks down Horace Harding, my nose would catch the aroma of tomato sauce and shredded cheese over a freshly risen circular piece of dough. Or maybe it was the garlic knots baking together on a baking tray. Not entirely sure, but it always got me hungry.

It was until mid October of 2020 in which I decided to step in to speak to the owner. When taking the Q17 bus back from Flushing, I got off a stop early to walk by it. Stepping in, I saw 2 adolescents waiting for their order. The stools were blocked off, there were social distancing signs hanging from the ceiling, and there were sneeze guards surrounding the counter. Behind the sneeze guards were 3 individuals on pizza duty. I asked to speak to the owner and a man pointed to someone unloading a fresh pizza out the built-in oven that they had. Considerate of his time, I briefly debriefed him on who I was and how I wanted to help (with this blog post). He told me to come back 2 days later in the morning when he opens shop. This way we could chat while he prepares for the day. It was just around the block for me, so it would be not a problem. His name was Dennis Koines. We said our farewells, and I walked back home.

---

I stepped out my door and it was a little chilly with a really faint drizzle. Cloudy and gray. Walking into the pizzeria was a comforting feeling, especially given the weather. Brother’s Pizzeria has a certain charm about it. From the stools, to the menu, to that built-in pizza oven, it all felt right. Dennis was by himself behind the counter finishing up a tray of garlic knots. There were 2 other trays that were already done next to it. He also had his mask on. I could tell he took the safety of him and his customers seriously.

I sat myself down, placing my laptop on the counter and proceeded to start picking his brain.

Brother’s Pizzeria is a Fresh Meadows, Queens staple. It’s a local business, a mom and pop shop that’s been opened since April of 1963. Dennis actually isn’t the owner of this restaurant. The original owner’s children didn’t want anything to do with the pizzeria, so Dennis purchased it in 2010. There’s actually a couple other locations spread out in the tri-state area that started from the original owner’s siblings. Some include Brooklyn, Long Island, and New Jersey.

Dennis is just like me. He grew up in Fresh Meadows and went to school in the area - St. Kevin’s and St. Francis Prep. The moment he started working at Brother’s Pizzeria doing delivery was actually the first day he received his driver’s license back in 1998. Talk about being excited for work.

Unlike me however, Dennis grew up having their pizza. This was the place that his mother took him since he was just a baby in a stroller. And now he’s a full grown adult who owns the establishment.

“This was my pizzeria growing up. I remember those Friday nights with family here at 8:00pm. When April came around, that meant that Italian ices were available. A slice and an ice. I remember being excited about those since they didn’t have them all year round. Now people would come here and nothing would have changed for like 40 years, only some slight oven changes and fixes.”

“Who are some of your most frequent customers?”
“99% of the people that walk in the door.”

Oh, there was also a maintenance/handyman who was fixing up something below the counter. That’s when he chimed in that he loved the pizza here. He’s also been coming here his whole life. He even has Celiac, causing the body to negatively react to the consumption of gluten, and he still comes here for a slice.

“Our locals are important to us. Relationships with customers are so important. If someone forgets to bring money, it would be okay to pay later. It’s important to ask people, ‘How’s your mother doing?’ & ‘I heard your sister wasn’t doing too well.’ It’s personal with a fine line between it. That’s the relationship we have with people. We can’t take that stuff for granted.”

Before COVID-19, the pizzeria was open 7 days a week from 11am-10pm. Now they’re closed on Mondays and closes an hour earlier at 9pm. Back in April and May, when it was worse, it closed at 8pm. Since it was located in a prime location for a couple of nearby schools, it was depended on a lot of the students. He also added in an interesting insight - something that always kept the business rolling would be the individuals driving alongside the Long Island Expressway. It ranged from between lunch and dinner, from people that may want a single slice for themselves to those who would want to purchase a pie back home. No one stops by anymore since most companies have a work from home policy.

Fun fact. This is actually Alec Baldwin’s favorite pizzeria! It’s a common place for him to stop by when stopping for food when going home from JFK Airport.

Now that winter is approaching, they’re going to continue to play it by the city guidelines. Even though it’s overwhelming and frustrating, it needs to be done to ensure that people stay safe.

“The whole operation is changing now. All these years, you’re doing everything you can to get people to come in and get a slice and some soda. Now you have to kindly tell them to leave after a while. Some people get offended unfortunately, but we try to play by the city’s rules. We’re doing whatever we can to keep it together. And we understand that that’s the entire city as a whole.”

Dennis is also now married with a son who’s less than 2 months old. With COVID, there was a next element of anxiety that he wasn’t expecting – “You don’t realize how much you want to be home until you have something you miss at home.”

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After our conversation, I proceeded to snap some shots of the place. I actually noticed that last week, they were doing some sort of signage installation outside. It turns out that they actually have replaced the sign that I’ve been seeing my whole life with something a little more modern. Luckily sanitation hasn’t swung by yet to pick it up, so we went over to the back so I can take some pictures. He figured it was time for a newer sign especially since the lettering for the old one was falling off.

Around 11:00 AM, a customer strolled in for a slice. It was a regular. I knew because Dennis was asking how he and his family were doing. A little after, as they were setting up their outdoor seating, a member of the community (also a regular) lent a hand. It was clear that this pizzeria was for the community and wouldn’t be here without the community.

I thanked Dennis for his time and told him that I’d be back a little later for lunch. And so a couple hours later, I came back for a slice and coke combo. It didn’t get anymore classic than that. And I also brought a friend who lived in the neighborhood too. Word of mouth marketing is the best after-all, and why not use the time playing catch-up with a friend!

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We’re always raving about going to a new place in the city. It’s most likely something that’s trending or have dishes that are Instagrammable. You’ll be helping those business owners survive during these times, which is great!

BUT don’t forget about the mom and pops in YOUR neighborhood. These are the businesses that have grown alongside you. Stop by for a meal. Say hi. Let’s help them keep the essence of what hospitality is alive.


Brother’s Pizzeria
185-04 Horace Harding Expy, Flushing, NY 11365
Open 11:00AM - 9:00PM Tuesday - Sunday | Closed Monday

day in the life of sean chee

September 19th, 2020
9:12AM

I opened my eyes. The sunlight from behind me creeped up my pillow and poured into my face. I shut them as quickly as they opened. As they were still closed, my hands reached towards my chair, where I usually place my phone before falling asleep.

9:12AM

It was going to be a long day. 3 photoshoots that day in the city (us New Yorkers usually refer to that as Manhattan). I sent Jane a quick text - “Hey hey still okay with meetin at like 11 today?(:” As soon as I sent it, I put a 15 minute timer on my phone and went right back to sleep…

9:28AM

The all too familiar obnoxious alarm goes off and I commence my usual morning routine.

- Get out of bed with my bed-hair.
- Go to the bathroom for a number 1.
- Look at myself in the mirror
- Crack my neck and stretch my arms.
- Brush my teeth.
- Go back to my room.
- Make my bed.
- Get dressed with the outfit I chose the night before.
- Head downstairs to my kitchen.
- Grab a quick bite (a banana that day).
- Out the house I go.

10:05AM

On Main Street, Flushing. Shot on iPhone 8.

On Main Street, Flushing.
Shot on iPhone 8.

It was 55 degrees Fahrenheit. Autumn was literally right around the corner and I was all for it. This meant that I was finally able to start layering more clothes on top of one another, and start to wear some of my buys - some thrifts and some brand new pieces. The bus stop is a quick 2 minute walk from my house. Unfortunately, I don’t get the luxury to only have to take the train when commuting around New York City. Since I live in Fresh Meadows, Queens, the bus is a must. The closest train stations which were in Flushing, Jamaica, and Elmhurst all aren’t walkable from where I lived. The bus came rather quick though for a weekend - within the minute! 

I was Flushing bound and I was soon there in about 20 minutes. I usually get off the last stop, but since it was a weekend I got off the 2nd to last one and just walked. I feared that the traffic on Main Street might take a little longer than expected. The streets of Flushing were flooded with people. Things seemed to be shifting back to “normal”, but just about everyone was wearing masks out on the streets. There was even some sort of religious organization that set up a prayer station outside of the Flushing library. People were definitely getting a lot more comfortable these days. I maneuvered my way through the sea of fish and made my way down the Flushing 7 line train station.

10:40AM

On 7 train, Manhattan bound. Shot on iPhone 8.

On 7 train, Manhattan bound.
Shot on iPhone 8.

I got on the train. The train wasn’t packed, but it was definitely an average amount of people present. Everyone also wore masks. As of 2 weeks ago or so, the MTA enforced a rule that if individuals were caught not wearing a mask when taking transportation, they would be fined. Sometimes I would go to sleep when taking the subway into the city since it’d be about 45 minutes, but that day I decided to catch up on some social media and emails on my ride.I’m proud to say I live in Queens, 1 of 5 boroughs in New York City. It’s actually also the most culturally diverse county in the nation. Now the 7 train roughly runs through 60% Queens and 40% Manhattan. Throughout the entire Queens portion of the ride, the train will be above ground, meaning that you’ll have a fantastic scenic view of the borough. It’s a must for tourists - A hidden gem that is really underrated. And along these stops are a terrific line up of cuisines that go from Korean and Chinese to Mexican to Pakistani to Tibetan to Filipinx plus SO many more in between! 

11:35AM

At Union Square subway station. Shot on iPhone 8.

At Union Square subway station.
Shot on iPhone 8.

I arrived at Union Square. I had to make one transfer to the downtown 6 train after the 7 to get there. As soon as I walked out the station, I was met with a beautiful Black Lives Matter mural. It was only about 4 months ago since the cruel death of George Floyd sparked hundreds of protests nationwide. I can’t believe so much has changed in 2020 so far. Streets were literally packed with protestors several weeks back. My first time taking the public transit out to the city during COVID was actually due to me wanting to participate in these protests. I was going to meet Jane at Think coffee which was about a  block from the post office, our shoot location. As I approached the cafe, I saw Jane walking towards me from the opposite side. Perfect timing. We waved, elbow touched (cause COVID), and proceeded to purchase our dosage of caffeine. I needed a medium size. My immune system was desperate for it. I made sure to give a tip too! Jane mentioned that back in college this used to be the spot she always went to for her cup of morning (or evening) Joe. It brought back memories for her, but she agreed that she didn’t want to be back in college. We both agreed that it was more so the people that we missed being around. Post college life was much more independent, and freer. 

We walked over to the post office, but the building was going under renovations, so we weren’t able to utilize it as a nice background. There were still a ton of USPS trucks in the area, so those were something we would still be able to use! They all had a nice vibrant streak of blue and red. Jane also brought some envelopes and stamps. We wanted to use this shoot as a reminder for people to continually support the United States Postal Service, especially after Trump aimed to dismantle the USPS to prevent voting by mail. TLDR, but it’s an attack on fair and equitable voting and the democratic process, as well as on the Constitution, U.S. veterans, and racial equality.

This shoot was actually related to my restaurant campaign that I put together back in March. Individuals would purchase a gift card to any restaurant of their choice, show me the receipt, and then proceed to receive a $20 photoshoot of anything from me. Now that people were slowly becoming more comfortable with meeting, while taking precautions, I was catching up on people’s requests.

Outside Union Square subway station. Shot on iPhone 8.

Outside Union Square subway station.
Shot on iPhone 8.

Right before the shoot though, we spent about 15 minutes playing catch up on life. The last time we actually saw each other in person was September 8th, 2019 at Elsewhere in Brooklyn. Joe Kay was spinning and you already know we were there to jam to the vibes. It was also to celebrate her birthday! Throwback to when we were actually able to go to live music events… But our conversation took place in front of a very nostalgic spot, especially for NYU students - Webster Hall. IYKYK. We chatted about where we were in regards to the fields of dance and in our individual romantic lives. Both of us haven’t been in a serious relationship in a long time, so we were both in very relatable situations. We also weren’t dancing as much because we missed taking classes with people physically around us. It had so much more of an inviting and warm atmosphere. Things just weren’t the same as they used to be. Advice and support were thrown between us around while mail carriers zipped back and forth.

12:30PM

We stayed right on that street to do a couple of shots. As we moved on to Tompkins Square Park, we found a mailbox where we got a couple “candid” ones. It just screamed “New Yorker”. Then we realized there was a USPS truck right next to it too! Jane had the wonderful idea to pretend as if she was chasing after the truck. That screamed “New Yorker” even more. 

1:05PM

When we got to the park, there were a ton of people gathered there. Everyone was taking advantage of the last bit of summer, while staying distanced from one another. Small groups of musicians were spread throughout the park each playing their own tunes. People were reading, dancing, and conversing with one another. I find that being in the concrete jungle, individuals will jump at the chance to be on some grass. It was really pleasant to see individuals trying to enjoy their good weekend amidst such a crazy year. 

We found a nice 6 feet distanced spot from other individuals and set up our layout. A bedsheet/picnic blanket sprawled out with Jane laying down on it as she dreamingly writes out a love letter. I used my varsity jacket as a prop to provide her character warmth and comfort. The pink from her lipstick matched spot on with her journal too. It was my first time executing this sort of concept, and we both thought it came out so great! We were going to grab some food after too, but I didn’t have the time and it turns out the restaurant we were going to go to, Sobaya, wasn’t open yet. Some restaurants adjust their times due to COVID. Luckily Jane had a small chocolate granola bar that gave me some energy to help me through my day. Bless. 

1:25PM

At 34th Street Herald Squae Shot on iPhone 8.

At 34th Street Herald Square station.
Shot on iPhone 8.

I made my way to the L train station. I had to later transfer to the F, take it to 34th St. Herald Square, and walk over to the Hudson Yards district. As I was walking though, I passed by Boris and Horton, a dog cafe in the East Village. This was a cafe that Jane and I went to get coffee about 2 years ago. I was happy to see them still opened, with many individuals seated outside. You guessed it, they’re dog friendly! However they also have dog adoption events every now and then. It’s truly a great place to get some work done, gulp down some coffee, while supporting their cause. I immediately texted Jane that we had to visit them again soon and that it would be our default spot to go to.

2:10PM

In Kelly’s kitchen ft. her bubble tea. Shot on iPhone 8.

In Kelly’s kitchen ft. her bubble tea.
Shot on iPhone 8.

Shoot two. I walked up 6 flights of stairs to get to Kelly’s place. I haven’t been working out as much these days, so it made sense that I was trying to catch my breath after reaching the top. I rang the doorbell, and out popped Kelly’s head. She had a cup of water waiting for me, since she expected me to need some after that climb. Super nice of her. But she had some boba. I was jealous. 

Kelly’s place was really nice, given that it was the usually Manhattan sized pad. It was a one bathroom, one bedroom apartment. It was really tidy, organized, and homey. Definitely my sort of vibe. I could tell that she took the time to put her interior designing touch to it. There was one fish tank on her kitchen sink, which was right next to her living room, and another in the corner of her bedroom. She told me about the different sorts of fish she owned, and that she installed everything herself. I never knew she was a fish lover! I guess you really do learn more about a person when you’re in their home. 

Kelly actually agreed to allow me to have a shoot at her place. She sent me a video of her place beforehand, in which I saw the fish tank in her room with a neat light setup. I thought it would be really cool to capture it, as well as any other aspects of her home. As a photographer and appreciator of interior design, I find it to be an adventure brainstorming of concepts to do at people’s places. If it’s my first time at a place, I almost feel like a kid! I let my imagination run free, and if the homeowner allows me to, I’ll be moving things around to get some interesting shots. Of course, I am always on my absolute best behavior, respecting their boundaries. I am a guest after-all! 

Kelly is also a photographer. We actually met online, and this was the 2nd time meeting! She currently goes to Parsons School of Design and from what I know she does a ton of music photography. She was telling me how during her freshman year she reached out to Bohan Phoenix, a Chinese-American rapper, asking if she could come to one of his concerts to shoot it. To her surprise, he actually responded and said that it was fine! Kelly went on to scream in excitement, while her roommate looked over at her all confused. These are the moments in which it really shows that taking the initiative can really make a difference. 

Through music she even met one of my good friends from high school too, Naveed. He’s in an urban-alternative band of 2 and is such a good singer too. Check him out as well! She was actually rocking their shirt when I arrived. She said they did a shoot a couple weeks back too. They were in Astoria, and they found a shopping cart where he sat in for some photographs. She specifically told him to use the caption “What’s poppin? Brand new whip, just hopped in.” RIP Pop Smoke.

So we started to shoot by the fish tank in her bedroom. She said that it used to be a flower pot, but she decided to upcycle it. SUPER creative. I tried my best to capture something “cool” but it was pretty difficult with the only source of light being a tiny sort of book lamp just for the tank. I wish I got creative a little earlier then, but alas I didn’t. I ended up doing a couple more shots of her and her fish, Crimson. It was afterwards in which we decided to move towards the window and grab some shots with her plants. We moved some things around to get her to sit on the window sill too, while even holding one of her big green sun lover. The vents outside actually acted as a great reflector that bounced a lot of the sunlight into the room. If you look out the window, there isn’t much of a view. However according to Kelly, it does give great Diagon Alley vibes. (I spotted a Slytherin pillow in her living room, as well as a necktie in her drawer) I then noticed that some of her smaller plant holders were also upscaled from empty sauce containers that were glass. It was THEN that I figured I could shine some light through it as another light source! So I turned on my phone light, steadied it behind the container, and shined it towards Kelly. It gave a nice dreamy jungle vibe. I couldn’t wait to edit the photos! She took a look and loved it as well. 

4:00PM

Thank you for the snack, Kelly! Shot on iPhone 8.

Thank you for the snack, Kelly!
Shot on iPhone 8.

It was time to get to my next shoot! Kelly offered me M&Ms since she had a ton in her fridge after a spontaneous visit to M&M World in Times Square. I didn’t eat lunch, so I eagerly said yes. She was also kind enough to give me a small matcha bread type pastry with a red bean filling inside as a snack too. Another angel, just like Jane. I eagerly said yes as well, thanked her, and was on my way. 6 flights of stairs down I went, and onwards to Tribeca - my old high school stomping grounds…

A family in transit, while en route to Tribeca via 2 train Shot on iPhone 8.

A family in transit, while en route to Tribeca via 2 train.
Shot on iPhone 8.

Shortly before I got a message from my friend Bradley saying that he was going to arrive a little later than expected. Totally okay with me! That meant a little bit of walking slower to enjoy the flowers, or in this case just to soak in the city life. I took the 2 train downtown to Chambers St. That couple of stops were oh so familiar, as I spent 4 painful years of my life getting used to it. On my train ride there, I saw a beautiful family sitting together in the corner of a cart. What caught my eye mainly was that two of the daughters were matching, which most likely meant TWINS! I took another look, and I was right! After I got off the train, I slowly reminisced of all those mornings when I followed the steps of my peers and together we walked over to school. Up those same stairs, always passing the same homeless man, and walking through the shadows of trees as the sun came up. Many of the local businesses there have changed, and have closed too due to the pandemic. McDonalds had their outdoor seating set up. Classic. Wow, I remember spending many days after school there hanging out or waiting for my team before we had practice at Prospect Park. I walked up the Tribeca Bridge, and just beyond me was my old high school. I took my time and walked across and just when I was about to reach the end, Bradley came up from the other side. 

4:30PM 

I haven’t seen Bradley since I graduated back in 2013. So it’s been just over 7 years. How time flies. I actually have known him for about 10 years though because we went to the same church. Surprise! I’m Christian! I haven’t been to church in awhile, but I’m still devout and say my prayers almost every night. That might be a blog post for another time. But it was really great to see him again and to reconnect. He went to school in Boston for the pharmaceutical field, and just graduated. That was why he wanted to book me - for the graduation photos. That, and because he wanted to support my cause and get a chance to catch up with me. He actually didn’t even care if I took the photos for him or not. I had to re-coordinate a time with Bradley 3 times before finally finding a date and time that would work for him. I had to make sure to get it done and honor his request! 

We walked alongside Rockefeller/Battery Park while asking each other what’s been keeping us busy during these past couple of months. He was hunting for a job, and it wasn’t easy especially because hospitals and companies in the industry didn’t really have a huge budget since most of their expenses went into fighting the virus. He knew he’d have a better chance a couple more months down the line. Other than that he’s been helping out around the house and has been giving his brother a lift to work as much as possible to have him avoid taking public transportation. He said he knew things would get better. He wasn’t alone! Others just like him, who graduated the same year, were in the same situation. He would just have to take things each day at a time. 

Shoot three. We essentially went for a big loop around our school’s “playground”. Past the huge lawn, the basketball courts, and the handball courts. We stopped around there to take some photos. He brought his gown, cap, and diploma too! He joked that it was pretty ironic that he’s getting his graduation photos now even though school for everyone just started. We took some of him with his mask on, as well as with it off. Then we went near the secret slide not too far away and took some shots nearby there and finally around Brookfield place a little further down. Little bit more simple than the other 2 shoots I’d say.

3 shoots for the day - FINISHED.

My highschool backyard. Shot on iPhone 8.

My highschool backyard.
Shot on iPhone 8.

5:45PM

Touchdown at C Shot on iPhone 8.

Touchdown at Curry-Ya !
Shot on iPhone 8.

It was time to head to dinner! Bradley had gotten a gift card to Curry-Ya in support of the restaurant campaign I put together, so it was time to get our curry game on! Luckily he was able to get hold of the car today. We drove back to the East Village, where I had my first shoot and found a parking spot a couple of blocks away. The whole time there, I was asking him questions about driving. I wanted to pick his brain, as a fellow resident from Queens. I don’t know if I’m overthinking things, but I just really wanted to make sure I get this whole driving thing down. I sound like a TOTAL novice, which I am. However, I think that asking a lot of questions is the key to truly mastering something. These past 2 months, I’ve been trying to take every opportunity I can to practice my driving. I’m still really uncomfortable driving on the highway and have never made my way out to the city yet being behind the steering wheel. And so my questions were all surrounding that. When was the first time you drove into the city? How did you feel? What made you feel like that was going to be your first time? Was anyone in the car with you? Why should you merge now instead of later? Etc. Etc. But he was super eager to share with me his answers, and of course I was just as appreciative. 

O Shot on iPhone 8.

Order with your anime character!
Shot on iPhone 8.

6:24PM

We arrived at Curry-Ya and had to wait for a table. We were next in line though, so it wasn’t going to be long. The server said that we’d probably have to wait 10-15 minutes which was absolutely fine with us. 

10 minutes passed.

“Must be soon!”

15 minutes passed.

“Almost!!!”

20 minutes passed.

”Please, we’re starving.”

25 minutes passed.

6:50PM

We got seated and were ready to order! We took a look at their contactless menu as we were waiting and knew exactly what we wanted. It was totally understandable that there was a wait. We actually also beat a huge wave of hungry customers too. The server also apologized around the 20 minute mark saying that the customers were taking longer than expected, which was thoughtful of him to do. Curry-Ya has a tablet, as well as hand sanitizer, on every table in which customers can place their order in. They would have to also put in their name and which anime character’s paper was stationed at their table to determine who to serve to. Cute, and completely contactless! Payment could also be done on the tablet. It was really safe to eat at and delicious to say the least. We also had options because Curry-Ya shared the same order of operations as their sister restaurant next door, Rai Rai Ken. So if you wanted to, you could order some of their ramen too. We stuck to Curry-Ya though, since we wanted to commit. Here’s what we ordered:

I think restaurant bathrooms tell a lot about them. Shot on iPhone 8.

I think restaurant bathrooms tell a lot about them.
Shot on iPhone 8.

  • Takoyaki

  • Pork Buns 

  • Kara-age

  • Regular Berkshire Pork Katsu Curry 

  • Baked Berkshire Pork Katsu Curry

  • Coke

  • Calpico

Talk about a meal! It filled us up real good, just enough that we considered ourselves full. As we were waiting for our food, Bradley was even contemplating getting a ramen to go. Post meal though, he said that there was no need for that anymore. Good move. 

8:20PM

I was going to cap my night off by going to my friend’s place in Ktown where we would drink and dance on her rooftop. I changed my mind though. Since Bradley drove to the city and was still living near me, he offered to drive me back. I immediately accepted! As much as I was still down to chill, I was just too tired. My body was requesting PTO post meal. Plus I think I was falling into a food coma. If I were to drink too, that would be an absolute night night. And so we jumped into his car and back to Queens we went. Of course my questions on driving continued to fire off as we got on the Williamsburg Bridge, drove along the I-278 and then the I-495. He was again such a pal, answered my questions and went through his thought process the best he could. 

9:15PM

Finally, back home.

I took a nice hot shower and spent the rest of my evening on my computer and phone. Then I went to bed around midnight. I actually had another shoot the next day. Lucky for me, just 1 instead of 3. You grind a ton some day, and just a bit for others. No big deal.

Nonetheless, I’m grateful that I can spend everyday pursuing things that I love. I’m grateful that I live with two loving amazing parents that have raised me into the man I am today, one that’s diligent and hardworking. I use my traits to make money and invest in things that I can help other people with. My photography allows me to connect with strangers, create stories, capture time, and inspire others. Not all my days are like this one, but I always try my best to make the most of my time. Today’s was dedicated to Jane, Kelly, and Bradley. Much love to each one of you and I hope to see you again soon.

12:00AM

Good night.

Shoot 1 - with Jane Sun!

Shoot 1 - with Jane Sun!

Shoot 2 - with Kelly Liu!

Shoot 2 - with Kelly Liu!

Shoot 3 - with Bradley Situ!

Shoot 3 - with Bradley Situ!

vacation home on 5 bleecker

August 2nd, 2020
12:17PM

A continuation from the last blog post…

---

We decided to meet at Bessou since he had to drop off a framed illustration of the restaurant to the owner, Maiko Kyogoku.

---

Thanks to Arnold that day, I got the chance to meet Maiko. It was during that very day I decided to execute two blog posts that would interconnect to one another. We exchanged contacts and texted back and forth to figure out when might be a good time to meet and chat. 

We originally decided on Sunday, August 16th to meet in the Dumbo, Brooklyn location within Time Out Market. That day was actually Bessou’s 4 Year anniversary! It was definitely a special day to have the interview to say the least. It was going to pour that day, but as the day grew closer the weather forecast improved. The day itself turned out to have light drizzles, but nothing stopped me from venturing out. But of course, life had it’s unexpected curveballs. 

Upon getting there, I found out that Maiko actually had to run back to the Noho location because things got unexpectedly busy. Luckily for me, I made plans in Dumbo already for that day, so it worked out well. Besides, I understood. I don’t come from a restaurant/hospitality industry, but I know how demanding things can be sometimes. You have to be able to think on your toes, and adjust quickly to situations. This especially is important when having to deal with customers. 

Since it was lunch time, I decided to get some food. What other place to show my support than to get it from Bessou. I got myself a Fried Chicken Karaage Bento. This consisted of spicy mayo, sesame brussel sprout slaw, edamame, nori crunch over rice, and of course the crispy fried chicken karaage. I sat myself down at the outdoor seating provided by Time Out Market. It was really nice to be honest. Even though the weather made things a little damp, there was a pleasant breeze. On top of that, there was a beautiful view of Dumbo by the water. After my picture taking, I dove right into it. I was famished. A part of me didn’t want to start eating though because it was just so beautifully put together. The bowl had so many vibrant colors to it, and it was aligned so nicely. Half was the chicken, and half was all the sides split into 4 sections. Meanwhile you had all the rice waiting to be scooped up from below the thick surface of colors. And you guessed it. It was delicious. I especially loved the karaage. It wasn’t dry at all and had good amount of moisture when biting into it. While combined with the spicy mayo too? Yeesh. I held myself back to save some of that homemade sauce of theirs for my rice. 

---

We rescheduled for next week Saturday, August 22nd and everything worked out wonderfully. This time, it wasn’t a rainy day and we sat outdoors to chat at the set of tables I was sitting at last week.

Hi Maiko! So tell me a little about yourself.

Bessou Edited-15.jpg

My name is Maiko Kyogoku. I am Japanese American born and raised in New York. I grew up on the Upper West Side to restaurant parents. My dad owned the restaurant for over 30 years. It was the one of the first sushi restaurants on the Upper West Side.

I would spend time at the restaurant to visit my dad after school. Everyone at the restaurant would know me and when you're little, it's fun to be doted on by all the cooks. I loved the environment and the culture there. Even the fun events! Like there used to be a festival on Columbus Avenue and it used to be really big. I remember my sister and I would go and help them. Especially when we were rallying to get rid of everything at the end, you know?

How influential were your parents?

I loved food growing up. My mom was such an avid cook and wanted us to know about our heritage and where we came from. My mom would cook a lot and she would try to teach us different regional dishes. I remember she would make mochi and show us how to do that. My mom was from the north, from the Akita prefecture. My dad was from Tochigi. He actually fell into the restaurant business too! His rugby coach in college recruited him to run a new restaurant in Spain after working part time at different restaurants to make some extra money. He went because he thought it was exciting to leave the country. He never looked back and went on to come to America and start his business. It's like the American Dream.

Growing up, my dad always told me that a restaurant is not a place for women. He actually really discouraged me from entering the restaurant business. He was like, "It's hard. It's long hours. You're not gonna like it when you're older. Women just don't have the stamina." He just had a very old school mentality of approaching it.

How did you get into the restaurant business? 

I actually did not fall into the restaurant business right away. I grew up surrounded by restaurant people not really thinking I wanted to own my own. New Year's is a really big holiday in Japanese culture. Once service was over on New Year's Eve, all the staff would come over to our house. Every year, we would bring in the New Year's together. My sister and I would wake up from our early evening nap and we'd stay up to 4:00AM with them. It was so much fun. 

But I actually started off my career completely apart from restaurants. 

In high school, I was volunteering at the Red Cross. All four years, I was doing homework help for children in shelters. Then in college, I interned at Sesame Street and Nickelodeon. I loved kids, and I thought I would be going down this children's TV career track. I actually did get a job offer from a production company I had interned at, but for some reason I felt like I wanted something new. I thought I could do that through children's media, on the publishing side. And so I went into children's publishing.

I did that for a couple years, selling movie and translation rights. I was in the subsidiary rights department. It was fun too, some of my best friends are from that time. But then I got bored. I loved the people there, but I could only stare at contracts for so long. I grew up having a lot of different interests. Like you, I've always been pursuing what I loved. Even in college, I wasn't doing the typical law or econ contract. I wanted to do Spanish and study abroad in Spain.

How did your parents feel about you wanting to pursue that as a major?

So in college, my mother passed away pretty suddenly. However my dad has always been kind of a rebel. He's one of the only people among his friend group that actually left Japan and he's never felt like being conventional would get you anywhere. So he thinks I'm like a quirky person, very similar to him, drumming to my own beat. He also admitted that he was an econ major, and he doesn't remember a single thing from being one. He said to try different things.

Oh, back to the career track! So what was after children's publishing for you?  

Around that time, somebody introduced me to Takashi Murakami's studio because they were looking for someone with knowledge of licensing and contracts. Something like a project manager who could also negotiate. They also had to be bilingual in Japanese and English. I had never even written a business email in Japanese. The most I'd ever written was to my grandma. I got into that job and rose up the ranks and became Murakami's right hand person. And it was intense. It definitely prepared me for owning my own business, but man I was there for like a year and a half and I basically never left his side. I was traveling like two weeks a month, and we'd go to places like Germany, Ukraine, Japan, etc. 

My time there was basically doing his retrospective copyright Murakami. My job was to help with the opening events, coordinating with the museums. But other tasks were trips that were purely schmoozing trips. He had a lot of collectors around the world who had house calls, which was cool. Once we went to Ukraine, to a billionaires country home inside of a forest. What was crazy was it was an hour long drive outside of the main city and when we got to the forest, there was about a mile long winding road with snipers, people with guns. They were basically guarding the main house. I had no idea who he was, but he had just bought one of Murakami's highest selling art pieces at the Christie's auction.

How else was working with Murakami like? 

It was really intense and inspirational. The experience definitely taught me about how conservative Japanese companies work. He believes in some really stoic Japanese traditions such as apprenticeship. It's almost like hazing or orientation in Greek life. He puts you through this stuff, like the ringer to see whether you can handle it. And I would travel with him and his team all the time. We'd be sleeping like inside the museum. We'd sleep on the cardboard boxes that had just packaged the art pieces. He loves sleeping on the cardboard for some reason. I think it comes from his artist days when he would fall asleep painting. However he expects everyone to live and breathe his life and work, and it was a little too much for me. After about a year and a half, I decided to get out for my own sanity. 

(Continuing her career track)

So I left his company without much of a plan. I actually reached out to somebody, Jean, who I worked for when I was hostessing. I guess in some unconscious way restaurants have been this comfort place for me. I've always been drawn to people. If I find somebody who I respect and admire, I will change my course for them. I loved working for this woman. She's the owner of a restaurant, Momoya, in Chelsea and the Upper West Side. She had just opened the Upper West Side location and was looking for a manager. She figured she could train me to be one and that's what happened. I didn't really plan on that, but I fell into it and for a year I helped her get the place up and running. 

After that, I wanted to experience something else in the hospitality environment. I started working for the Thompson Hotel, in the Lower East Side. I started off as an event manager and ended up becoming the F&B Director (food & beverage) director after 2 years into the job. I was kind of toggling between doing events and doing restaurant management. Plus there was a lot of restructuring. The hotel general manager thought I had potential to do more, and got me  involved in different things. I ended up being the director of two hotels -  the other one being Gild Hall on Wall Street. Who knew that you could end up getting into the hotel industry, just by being in publishing. 

From managing two properties, I wondered what it would take for me to own my own business. My dad having owned his own always told me that if I were to ever own anything, especially food related, that I needed to know real estate in order to survive. New York is one of those exceptions where it's not just about having good food, but also having a good location. 

So I went into commercial real estate through an individual who owned a company that was sort of a multi disciplinary group that did real estate business development. He would help find investors for chefs and restaurants tours that were looking for their own space. He needed somebody to lead this. I got my broker's license, and for a year I helped a lot of chefs. I met Ivan Orkin and helped him secure his Ivan Ramen location on Clinton Street, and I was the broker for that deal. I got to help Dylan from Parlor Coffee, while he was just a guy working at Blue Bottle at the time. We helped him find a little coffee corner at a barbershop in Williamsburg. Eventually, he went on to have a roastery and everything. I just got to meet and help so many cool people and I learned so much during that year. It was the perfect job for me to learn how to open my own business by seeing how other people were opening their own doors. However it was financially hard, since this was 100% commission. It really taught me about the grit. By the end of it, I was like, "Okay, I think I can do this." 

However the one piece of the puzzle left that I still haven't learned was fine dining. I eventually became the director of private dining for a place on 64th street where Daniel Boulud had multiple businesses such as Bar Boulud and Boulud Sud. I was doing his events and I was managing that for about a year and a half. 

I was in the office most of the time just cranking away doing contracts, negotiating, and executing events with a team. I learned things that I liked and didn't like about fine dining. I did appreciate and admire it, but eventually I felt like it wasn’t the sort of environment I wanted to work in. I was there for a year and a half and towards the end, I figured I could probably do this myself. 

The hotel that I had previously left just happened to need someone, so I freelanced there for about twice a week. I wanted to focus on finding a space and it kind of worked out. I always feel like stars align in certain ways. I started my search and it took about 7 months. One night I was going to dinner with a friend to one of my favorite restaurants, called Bianca. It used to be on Bleecker, where Bessou is now. When I got to the restaurant, it was closed. It was around for 12 years and  it was always busy. How can they close? Then a week later, my coworker friend from real estate called me saying that she had a friend who's a Japanese woman that was about to sign a lease to a guy to take over the commercial space. But she had a bad feeling about him, and she'd prefer someone with a Japanese concept to move into her building instead. She was wondering if I knew anybody in my network. It turns out the location was 5 Bleecker, where Bianca had been. I was like, this can't be true. The space had so much meaning to me too. I had spent so many birthdays, celebratory nights, and random weeknights with girlfriends there. It was also a dope block. It was notorious for being a rowdy college street. However the side of Bleecker that we're on is like this oasis in an area that has so much hustle and bustle. 

And that's how it all started.

Can you tell me about the branding for Bessou?

Bessou was designed with a local design company, FAREWELL. It was in collaboration with an indigo dyeing company called blue ISO, originally from Japan. One of the founders of blue ISO was actually a coworker of mine from Murakami's office. 

Bessou actually means vacation home or home away from home in Japanese. The idea of the branding is that things are homemade, natural, and organic - paying respects to tradition. However at the same time it's making it your own. 

When you go to bessous in Japan, with them being bnbs in the countryside, it may be hosted by an individual who's a little more worldly and well traveled. They can be making Japanese food, but with a touch of maybe a Moroccan style from their most recent trip. And it can always change in that sort of way - that's how I view food. With Bessou being in New York, and me having grown up here, I want the flavors of the local New York ingredients to shine through our Japanese food too. That's the idea that I wanted to embody in our branding. 

I fell in love with indigo dyeing. The color we use is indigo blue, and is also called Japan blue. The birthplace of Indigo is from Fukushima where there are indigo fields. We actually have two panels in the restaurant that have this really beautiful abstract design. It's actually the word Bessou deconstructed - B, E, S, O, and U. FAREWELL really took what I was saying and translated it into art and design. In our logo, there's also a line with two shorter lines. That's part of the Japanese character for house, so this kind of gives a nod to the fact that Bessou is like a second home. Even our font choices, they're supposed to evoke a handmade feel or something that's more analog, as opposed to digital, because that's really how we make things at the restaurant.

Has COVID been tough on you and how has it affected the restaurant?

COVID has definitely devastated the industry. it's really hard. We were lucky enough to get the PPP loan and the economic disaster loan. We're on a street where we can only open 3 days a week for outdoor dining. Every day we have to like bring out the barricades, tables, and chairs, and every night we have to put them back in. The city is really unreasonable. That's been pretty hard on us on top of the whole COVID pandemic. 

Right now, we are just waiting. The unknown is really the hardest part - not knowing when this is all gonna end. And for myself as the owner, how do I lead a team when I have none of these answers, and I'm at the mercy of the government and this virus. I can't even promise people their jobs back, but also some of my staff don't want to come back right now. They're afraid, you know? And you also have to make a living to keep going. So it's a lot of complex feelings right now. 

Do you guys have any plans for the winter? 

We've exhausted a lot of our ideas. We're doing takeout, delivery, and even doing pantry items. We are selling frozen foods for the first time and meal kits. We've also been doing relief meals, working with Heart of Dinner to serve community and senior homes. The donation money from them helps me to help pay my staff, food costs, and all that stuff. Other than that, the only other course of action I'm thinking of right now is to renegotiate my lease with the landlord. Right now we are lucky that the landlord has given us a rent break, a reduction for the rest of the year. But unless we really just sit down and renegotiate the whole thing I won't be able to pay the rent next year. So that's on the top of my mind. As for Dumbo location, within the Time Out Market, there will be takeout and delivery in place. We're just kind of taking it day by day right now. We were doing 7 days a week of weekend brunch, but 3 days a week and stuff? It's impossible. It's like a losing battle. Right now, what's important to me is to keep it open, and to have my staff paid. 

What would you tell those who are on the fence about going out for outdoor dining?

I think if you are on the fence, you should stay home and just please support by ordering takeout or delivery. For those that do come out, we are taking as many safety protocols as possible and using government approved sanitizing solutions and disinfectants. We have contactless menus and are making sure customers wear masks when they go to the bathroom. And obviously our staff are always wearing masks and gloves. I would also really, really urge diners to please, please be respectful of one another and the restaurant staff as well. It's a time where we, as citizens, need a heightened sense of empathy and care for one another. 

We're using Resy for reservations, but a lot of times, people have a habit of reserving like multiple restaurants or multiple days and then canceling them for one.I would really tell people not to do that, especially this time where we only have half of our tables for outdoor dining. They do it all the time. I see people making reservations like Friday and Sunday and at the last minute they'll decide to not come on the earlier date, but on a later date just because it's just more convenient for them. It's to put a place mark on whatever reservation. But for us, they’re taking away one of our table sets. You know, it's hard.

What was a favorite dish of yours while growing up? (I tried closing it off with a lighter question)

I loved soupy dishes, like hotpot. My mom's chicken and rice dumplings too was also one of my favorite things I have ever eaten. 

---

And that was about an hour of her time! I didn’t want to hold her for too long too, despite all the wonderful stories I wanted to still hear from her. Plus I didn’t really get the chance to talk about myself as much either. Hopefully we’ll get another time like this in the future. I really want to establish connections with people and not just contact them when I need them for something. It’s something that’s pretty challenging to do, especially when we all have so much going on in our lives. However, I believe that if you make a conscious effort to do so, people will see that, respect that, and understand your beliefs. 

To wrap up the day, I had to have more food from them! This time around I got their Crispy Rice Trio. These were crispy rice cakes made in-house topped with fresh fish, flavors, and garnishes. They were a cross between sushi and onigiri.

  • Spicy Tuna

  • Salmon Sashimi

  • Yuzu Cucumber

The description for these is actually “A perfect meal to go.” That was the exact predicament I was in. My friends were waiting in a car outside to pick me up. As soon as I got the food, I thanked Maiko for it, as well as her valuable time to speak with me. Then I dashed outside to the car and ate there. I opened my take out box to find 3 beautifully prepared masterpieces. It came with some soy sauce too that I opened up and put to the side of my container. As the car drove, I was taking in every bite of that delicious meal. Yes I was also famished, and it hit the spot after I was done. 

---

Will this be my last blog post about the food/hospitality industry? Most likely not. I’m discovering new things about myself each time I put these blog posts together. I want to continue to support local restaurants, businesses, and my friends. I wonder what my next one might be about. Let’s see what I brainstorm about these next couple weeks. If you’ve read this far too, thank you so much for reading! It makes me happy knowing that even 1 person from my network takes the time to do so. So thank you!

Read through the whole thing? Yay!
Just skimmed it and got to this point? Not a problem!

Either way, please consider dining at Bessou.
You can click into Resy to make reservations.
You can also order takeout.

Hope you can support them! :)

with warm welcome

August 2nd, 2020
11:58AM

“Hey! What perfect timing!” I shouted out as Arnold and I were walking towards Bessou, coming from opposite directions.

———

I reached out to him the week before, asking if we could meet and chat more about his project, With Warm Welcome. To be honest, this was actually the first time we were going to hang out one on one. The first and only time we met before then was at Atomix on 104 East 30th St. I was grabbing drinks there with my friend Thuy and Daniel, while Arnold was working as the Maitre D’. They were all actually friends and were well acquainted with one another. Upon first impression, I absolutely admired how Arnold kept a professional aura as he moved about the restaurant, while still keeping us entertained from time to time.

———

We decided to meet at Bessou since he had to drop off a framed illustration of the restaurant to the owner, Maiko Kyogoku. I also have never dined there before! It was a restaurant that had a modern take on Japanese comfort food.

As you know, because of COVID-19, dining could not be done indoors in the restaurants. Restaurants were still getting used to the whole outdoor seating lifestyle. We chose a table to sit and were given a menu. On the menu was the Bessou logo, and two QR codes. Scanning the codes on our phones brought us to the menus of the day. I loved this idea as we didn’t even have to touch the menu.

We put in our orders:

  • 2 Sake Sunrises - sake, pineapple, grenadine

  • Sesame Noodle Salad - cold ramen noodles, pickled beech mushrooms and tomatoes, edamame, cucumber, tossed in a spicy miso tahini sauce

  • Fried Chicken Karaage Sando - Bessou’s crispy fried chicken Karaage with spicy mayo and pickles on a Martin’s potato bun

  • Tonkatsu Sando - Panko-breaded pork cutlet, lettuce, miso barbecue, scallion aioli on a Martin’s potato bun

And so we chatted and ate and chatted.

———

Who are you?

I’m Arnold Byun, founder of With Warm Welcome. I’ve been in NYC for the past 7 years, mainly in the hospitality industry with roles ranging from restaurant management, pre-openings, and consulting for emerging F&B brands.

Tell me about your relationship with this industry.

I’ve always loved this industry. A huge reason why I fell in love with hospitality is due to the constant interaction with people. There’s definitely an instant gratification factor tied into what we do. For example, serving a guest and visually witnessing their instant feedback on their face - a smile. I got hooked on that. I thought, wow, I can do something seemingly small, but potentially create a big impact. I soon realized, the more thoughtful you can be, the more fulfilling the line of work. For me, hospitality is much bigger than simply hotels, tourism, and restaurants. It’s a way of life, a philosophy.

Early on, there were internal struggles from how the industry was viewed, especially through the lens of my immigrant father. Not to generalize, but from what I’ve observed, it seemed that many Asian parents moved all the way to the states and found themselves in restaurant work because they didn’t necessarily have a choice. Due to assimilation, this previous generation had to survive by adapting their native cooking to fit the American palate. I hate to say it, but often these dishes were dumbed down to become more familiar and approachable. To no one’s fault. Our generation, I feel, is passionate in particular about moving culture and we feel that it’s been misrepresented and appropriated along the way. It’s not about profit or survival for us, but about purpose. Purpose over profit. It starts with that core ideology and everything else follows. Many who grew up here, like myself, realize they can bridge this gap and represent their culture in a way that’s very contemporary and approachable, without losing the identity.

How did you personally get into it?

Through my dad. My dad was born and raised in Korea, entirely a self-made entrepreneur. My parents divorced and soon my amazing home cook mom was out of the picture. After the divorce, my dad really wanted my brother and me to have a nice meal at home. Not just instant ramen. He has an “all-in” sort of personality. It’s all or nothing for him. He decided to go to culinary school, while simultaneously running his shipping and logistics business in Korea.

I respect him and love him a lot. To see that transformation and career change firsthand was very empowering as his son. He was able to cook for us, and provide in a maternal way that he couldn’t do before. He fell in love with that idea and because he was able to share this emotional exchange with his sons, he figured he could do so with others. And that’s how he got into the restaurant business.

Naturally, my dad became a workaholic and he would always be at the restaurant. After school, I would always be there just to hang out or to spend time with him, but honestly I wanted to do something to help. I asked if I could, and he jokingly responded, “Just go to the back and wash dishes.” So I jumped back there and started. I don’t know, but I kind of fell in love with it. Maybe it was just putting my head down and focusing on one task and doing it to the best of my ability. Eventually I got curious about all the other roles. I was a cashier, busser, server, and even got to make desserts in the back. 

My dad gave me a lot of leadership lessons that I’m really thankful for to this day. You shouldn’t make anyone do something that you personally wouldn’t do yourself. That’s always stuck with me, and one of my guiding principles during my managerial tenure in restaurants.

What was your career path like?

I majored in Hospitality Management at NYU. I knew from the get go that I wanted to be a restaurant manager. Fortunately, I was at the right place at the right time and during my junior year in college, I became the Assistant Restaurant Manager at Bouley, a Michelin-starred  classic French restaurant down in Tribeca. Even though I felt inexperienced, I knew if I put my heart and soul into the restaurant, I could make something out of my time. The thing about being a manager in NYC is that every company is constantly searching for good, competent people! I was getting scouted. From there, I went to an upscale Chinese restaurant called Hakkasan in Times Square. And then played a part in the pre-opening team for Soho House in their first public restaurant, Cecconi’s in Dumbo, Brooklyn. I soon wanted to get schooled and learn from the very best and decidedly spent time in the dining room at Eleven Madison Park, taking on an array of roles and responsibilities. My most recent tenure was with Atomix, a fine-dining restaurant that is inspired by Korean cultures and traditions.

———

And then out of nowhere we got a huge platter of Bessou’s Banana Hotcakes Foster! This was Japanese-style pancakes with bananas, black sesame, black sugar syrup, and salted miso caramel ice cream. This heat from the hotcakes went terrifically with the cold ice cream melting down from the top. We both agreed that the sides of the hotcakes were crisped to perfection. It was a beautiful ASMR crunch as our top and bottom set of teeth bit through. Thinking about it, I can still feel the sweetness overtaking my tastebuds.

It was definitely a treat from Maiko and the Bessou team. Thank you!

———

Can you tell me more about With Warm Welcome?

With Warm Welcome is a community, where we welcome Asian-American restaurateurs, chefs, founders, and tastemakers to engage in conversations around culinary entrepreneurship, hyphenated identity, and the importance of food culture. I follow food media avidly and during my time in restaurants, I always found it problematic that the restaurants receiving exposure were recycled and repurposed lists. Once you made it “in,” you were guaranteed a spot on all the lists. I wanted to see more Asian restaurants. I wanted to see more Asian operators, owners, and chefs. It’s been a year and so far we’re on track to record and publish 50 episodes and have coordinated a few pop-up dinners. We hope to progress further into hopefully video and other media platforms as well. If our community is not receiving the overdue exposure and respect, I might as well create it for us.

Shot by Diane Kang. https://www.instagram.com/akoreangirleats/

Shot by Diane Kang.
https://www.instagram.com/akoreangirleats/

What’s the most recent project that you’ve worked on? 

Shot by Diane Kang. https://www.instagram.com/akoreangirleats/

Shot by Diane Kang.
https://www.instagram.com/akoreangirleats/

A one-night only pop-up dinner featuring guests that graced my podcast called Prix Fixe for Youth. I corralled chefs and restaurateurs to benefit a non-profit called Apex for Youth, where they empower Asian-American youth, by providing access to educational opportunities and mentorship programs. The idea came about as I had invited chefs from differing backgrounds. I realized the common thread amongst all of us was nostalgia, memory. Everyone grew up somewhere, and ate something growing up that has a lasting memory well into adulthood. Food triggers a certain point in life. The idea was to present dishes from their respective childhood. It didn’t need to be fancy or overdone. Instead, I wanted it to be approachable comfort food. I think the idea of fine-dining is so antiquated and hits a very specific clientele. Despite experience in that arena, I’m much more passionate about creating an accessible space and event that has a bigger reach. Even though we called it a prix-fixe, which often is associated with fine-dining, I wanted to combat that stereotype that a prix-fixe menu had to be this stiff, fancy multi-course dinner. 

For the event in February, I curated an all-female cast. It consisted of 3 restaurants, each led by a female duo. Maiko Kyogoku and Emily Yuen from Bessou, Yen Ngo and Hannah Wong from Van Da, Moonlynn Tsai and Kyo Pang from Kopitiam, respectively representing Japanese, Vietnamese, and Malaysian cuisines. Since there were 6 individuals, it was a 6-course tasting menu. Everyone presented a childhood-inspired dish, with a description of why they chose it. This description was on a square card that the guests could collect and take home. On the cards were QR codes that would bring them to the associated podcast episodes featuring them.

Has COVID-19 been tough for you?

It was so tough in the beginning. I took a month off from social media, and didn’t talk to anyone. I just shut myself down. I really needed to go through it on my own. I spent so much time and effort into this industry. Once COVID hit, all of a sudden, you couldn’t be shaking hands or hugging people. It went against taking care of people and everything I had known about hospitality. I just had to take a little bit of time to process everything.

I took a trip home to Korea and now I’m in such a better place. I’m finding that my purpose is a little bit different now. I feel I’m in an in-between, where I do understand the restaurant operators and I get what people are looking for and I’m hoping to bridge that with storytelling and community building.

How do you think restaurants are doing, handling outdoor dining during this time? 

Everyone’s approaching it differently. Some restaurants are putting partitions between tables such as Atoboy, Nowon, and Fish Cheeks. This past week, at Haenyeo, I noticed the servers were changing into new gloves every 10 minutes. For me to physically see that, I felt safer. Any little thing we see would put us more at ease. Some restaurants are doing a great job, some could do better. That’s why I’m taking the time to personally visit them. If I'm going to vouch for them, I have to properly vet. When I feature these restaurants on With Warm Welcome, I believe in them and their work. 

And when owners come to me and ask for feedback, I think that it’s amazing. It’s great that even though they’re focused on managing the restaurant, that they’re still taking the time to ask for my opinion. The ones that are going to make it out of this are the ones that are the most open minded. These are the people who are willing to change and try new things. For example, we have to be open to embracing technology. It’s something that we’ve been putting off as an industry. A QR code is a very basic example, but there there’s so many other things that we can do digitally. For instance, I think minimizing contact between guests and the staff is key during this time. In order to do so, I would take the QR code idea a step further. Instead of leading to a menu page PDF, it could lead directly to the ordering system in the kitchen. Guests could place their own food and beverage orders directly. Ideally, every code would be unique and programmed to each table for a much seamless service. Payment could be taken care of through this platform as well.

At the end of the day, I believe my role in all of this is to be able to openly talk about outdoor dining and how we all feel about it. The other is to champion and continuously promote the restaurants and the people behind it that I have come to adore, love, and admire.

———

It was without a doubt a warm welcome from Arnold. His actions towards the community is fueled by his passion and love for those within it. They shaped him to who he is, and this is just his way of giving back and even paving the way for others.

Oh and we were STUFFED! After our goodbyes to Maiko and the Bessou team, we were on our way to the train station to head home and do some more work. Very grateful that Arnold took the time to meet with me, especially during these crazy times. I hope that he can continue to inspire many others with his projects and stories. He definitely has for me.

Until the next meal.

black lives matter

June 27th, 2020
12:15PM

The past month has been nothing but pain and suffering for many people including myself. I’m not black, but a lot of my friends are. Without our bonds, without trends from their culture, and without their lineages’ contributions towards America, we all wouldn’t be where we are today. My heart goes out to the entire black community because nobody deserves such injustice. Honestly, I don’t even know if there’s a word to describe how horrible these acts are. And to know that these monsters, who are supposed to serve and protect, aren’t getting punished to the same degrees of their actions is just infuriating and unbelievable to say the least.

I can go on and on about this topic, but I urge readers to take action somehow. You can donate to funds that support the Black Lives Matter movement one way or another, educate yourself through an array of assorted media, and have open conversations with your close friends and family. No action is too small. Just think about it in their shoes. Personally, asides from spreading awareness through my platforms and making donations, I’ve participated in protests. New York City has been a city with so much momentum for this movement and I’m so proud. It’s empowering and powerful to march and protest alongside others who believe in what’s right. And I march knowing how dangerous it may be. However, I’ve never felt so inclined to need to go out as a photographer, and a human being and show my support. 

I shared my latest set of photos on Instagram, dedicating it to #BLM. I wanted to showcase not only the unity in Black beauty, but also my support for my brothers and sisters. I picked up on the Vogue challenge, but I wanted to make it my own and put a spin on it. Everybody was part of this fight for freedom. I collaged together 9 shots, and overlaid a black fist over it. This was a symbol that’s generally associated with Black nationalism and was widely popularized due to the Black Panther Party’s usage in the 1960s.

Then my friend, Kemi, reached out to me. She wanted to shoot with me because she admired my last set on Instagram, and never had the opportunity to shoot with me yet. I was happy to do it complimentary too, especially to support Black creatives! It’s been a while since I’ve last seen Kemi, and we’ve only had a couple of interactions through bumping into one another at dance classes (not literally haha). I thought it’d be a really great idea to hang out a bit, shoot a set, and to also have her featured in this latest blog post. She was down! Plus after 3.5 months of not having an outdoor portrait shoot, due to social distancing, I was slowly starting to get more comfortable. In fact, the last shoot I had was for my March project. 

It turns out that she lives in Queens, just like me. From there we decided to meet somewhere convenient for the both of us. What better place than to just meet in the middle - Jamaica, Queens. Whenever I commuted to school or work, I always passed through this neighborhood and it always had its aesthetic. I never got to do a shoot here though because just about all my friends were out in the city, or Brooklyn, or somewhere that just wasn’t in deep Queens. 

I wanted to learn more about where she was coming from and how I could be more empathetic towards the situation. I wanted to be a friend. It was a really open conversation between us, but here’s a little bit of how it went throughout the day. 

“Are you okay?”

“Right now I feel a lot better. But towards the beginning of everything, I was so angry. I saw a lot of red and everyday I felt so upset from all the videos that were being shared on social media along with the tensions from protests. When I realized how much it was consuming me, I needed to just unplug from social media for a few days. I also didn't want to see constant reminders of the gruesome deaths at the hands of police brutality.”

“What ethnicity are you and where did you grow up? How was that like for you?”

“I’m Nigerian & West Indian. My father was born in Brooklyn, but he was raised in Nigeria for the majority of his childhood before coming back to New York. My mother was born and raised in St. Thomas and then came to New York after. I moved from Queens to Elmont, and then from there to Valley Stream in Long Island. I thought elementary school was fine. However high school, from 7th to 12th grade, felt different. I didn’t feel comfortable because I didn’t feel as though I fit in. My highschool was predominantly white, so I was introduced to different lifestyles that I wasn’t used to. Once I got to college and befriended people from the black community there, it was a shock back into my culture again.”

“How do you feel about people on social media speaking out about the BLM movement?”
"I think everyone puts a lot of pressure on each other to have to say something about it. If you don’t say the politically correct answer, everyone’s so quick to “cancel” or belittle you. Don’t get me wrong; everyone should care & have a moral compass to want to help fight for basic humanity. But realistically, not everyone does and humans tend to only care when it affects them directly. Forcing people to use their platforms to speak on these issues isn’t any better to me because you can tell it’s performative and forced. I don’t care to hear an opinion or statement if it isn’t authentic. BLM is slowly moving from a heartfelt cause with good intentions to a trend that can be memed. It’s not cool. Whatever you decide to do, just make sure it’s authentic to YOU - whether you speak out on the racial injustices or don’t (there are consequences for each). And I can't believe how desensitized we've become reposting and resharing videos that were the catalysts to this whole movement. Technology makes it so accessible to film and share these traumatic final moments. It's good and bad. I can't bear to watch anymore. I don’t need a video to know the truth of my reality. The ending never changes. It’s like rereading the same book & expecting a different ending.”

“Have you and your friends had conversations about this?”

“I‘ve spoken to friends, mutuals, and co-workers about these conversations. My friends pretty much felt the same, but my co-workers were on the opposing side. They supported Black & “Blue” Lives, which I feel is contradictory & nullifies the whole movement. I found that those in my age group had similar perspectives & understood the importance & goals of this revolutionary moment while those who are older lack knowledge, accurate information, or simply do not care since they’re not directly affected. It’s so important and enlightening to hear everyone’s perspectives. We even delivered over 500 care packages with supplies to protestors fighting for the BLM movement.”

“What's one thing you really hope to see come out of all these protests?”

“It’s interesting because I asked my friends the same thing, “What does the end of this whole movement look like? When it ends, what will be the new reality?” I think besides redistributing, funding, and revamping the requirements for police training, non-POC will no longer be able to turn a blind eye to our racial injustices and can no longer use the excuse “ignorance is bliss.” The movement is happening all around them and is infiltrating their lives. If they don’t understand, then they simply don’t want to at this point.”

“For those who read about your perspective, how else can they help?”

“I would say whatever you choose to do, make sure it’s authentic to YOU. Whether your strengths are on the frontlines protesting, behind the scenes organizing, monetary contributing, stimulating these tough conversations, or creating art for awareness, these are all different avenues to help fight for the same cause. Don’t let anyone guilt or shame you if your avenue isn’t the same as theirs. Definitely research local black organizations, businesses, communities, etc to support. Social media can be a valuable resource too. Just make sure to always fact check and verify the info you’re receiving.”

———

Thank you so much to Kemi for allowing me to share her thoughts on what all this means to her. I’m grateful for her friendship and for allowing me to grow by learning and educating others through her experiencing living through this. We can’t emphasize this enough.  Black Lives Matter.

@kemianne09 - Kemi
@breannamyers - Bre
@isetyourtrends - Trevor
@firstround.pick - Steve
@esosaoviasu - Esosa
@pablohabloo - Pablo
@anouchka.jpg - Anouchka
@jamesdaring - James
@mvc_dre - MacAndré
@imanxyoung - Iman

"the fitness gram pacer test is..."

April 1st, 2020
1:25AM

I migrated from Netflix to Youtube after watching a thriller, searching for an explanation video. Somehow I ended up on the weird part of Youtube…

Curious what I stumbled on?
Here’s the link.

———

Yeah, it wasn’t that weird actually. I just found it strange that it ended up on my side bar. This was the first time ever even hearing about the Murph Challenge.

TLDR; the video is about a guy who decides to do it for the mental challenge. It wasn’t about building muscle or getting leaner. He just wanted to see if he could do it. All at the same time, he was keeping up with his college lifestyle. His attitude towards this made it look easier than it actually was and I think that was what really got me motivated that night.

———

So what is the Murph Challenge?

murph.jpg

The Murph Challenge was created to commemorate the life of Michael P. Murphy. He was a US Navy SEAL officer who lost his life serving in Afghanistan. He was exposed to gunfire, while attempting to get a clear signal to contact his headquarters. It was a timely situation. When he was shot multiple times and dropped the phone, he fought to pick it back up. He finished the call, and signed off saying, "Thank You". He continued to fight till his last breath before dying from his wounds. This workout is to honor him. It was one of his favorites to do.

The challenge is a month long and consists of:
(the exercises can be done in any order)

  • 1 mile run to start

  • 100 pull-ups

  • 200 push-ups

  • 300 air squats

  • 1 mile run to end

———

Did I do it? No…

My body wasn’t ready for that sort of immediately strain. However, I decided to push for another challenge, especially because it was the start of the month. I decided to take on the One Punch Man Challenge. It’s from an anime in which this mediocre man can defeat anybody with just a single punch. Honestly it’s a hilarious show, and I’d highly recommend it. How he achieved his power is through his gruesome workout… (also how he became bald)

Of course I pushed for a month long and it consisted of:

  • 100 push-ups

  • 100 sit-ups

  • 100 air squats

  • 10km (6.2 mi) run

Click to watch this ridiculous clip.

Click to watch this ridiculous clip.

Blog April - 2020 Edited-2.jpg

I decided to change my run to 5 miles because I was just healing from a really bad sprain on my ankle. After Day 1, I decreased it to 4 miles because the run was really straining it. I also took a virtual dance class once a week and substituted that for my daily workout.

———

Before I get into my thoughts about the month long workout, I want to share my experience in regards to exercising. I’m sure some of you readers are hardcore lifters, while others not so much. I’m kind of in between.

smh Sean LOL

smh Sean LOL

I started my lifting journey when I was a senior in high school. I went to either the Astor Levy or Chelsea Recreation Center in Manhattan with some of my besties. We called ourselves “Gainsquad.” It was just a for fun sort of insider that we would always say! It was our support through brotherhood and friendly competition that made us go a couple times every week.

During college, most of us went to different colleges. I myself was at one that needed a 3.5 hour drive north of NYC to the middle of nowhere - Binghamton University. With almost nothing to do there, I decided to lift 4 days a week and swim 3 days a week. I’d say this time period was when I was my most cut. I also didn’t eat too much junk when I was in school there, so I’d say that played a huge part too.

From Binghamton, I transferred to Baruch College. Back to the Big Apple I went. I was occupied with internships and part-time jobs, so I wasn’t able to swim. However, I still tried fitting in 3-4 days per week in my local school gym. I also was on a dance team, so I was getting my sweet bit of cardio from there. I would get home late at night due to the combination of late classes, dance practices, and the 2.5 hour roundtrip commute. This meant that I ate late. I was raised to never waste food (especially not my mom’s delicious dishes), so I made sure to always sweep up all of it. I wouldn’t say I was obese, but I had that mix of muscle plus dad-bod going for me.

Post college? Forget it, it was just the dad-bod. I had my full time job, freelance photography gigs, and was still on a dance team. I would hang out with friends, and give time for myself in between. I had no time for the gym, or maybe it was just because I didn’t prioritize it. No matter. I didn’t have any regrets, I was happy with life and who I was.

Fast forward 2.5 years later and it’s January 2020. It was then that I decided to workout everyday at home, plus start intermittent fasting. I didn’t want to do anything crazy. I did 60 push-ups (3x20), 60 sit-ups per day (3x20), and a 2 mile run every other day. Some days I’d skip, but I’d say the exercises weren’t necessarily hard and it came out to be pretty consistent. When it came to fasting, I only ate/drank between 1:00pm and 9:00pm. I’d go out to drink for some nights, but these were rare.

(Read to the end, so you can actually see the changes per month towards the bottom of this post!!!)

Anyways from there, I decided to step it up a bit.

———

Blog April - 2020 Edited-3.jpg

ONE PUNCH MAN CHALLENGE TIME

Day 1: I couldn’t believe I was starting it. This was either going to be one of the best late night ideas I ever had, or one I was going to regret the most. To encourage myself further, I made a post on Facebook to try and find others to join me. Nobody wanted to… That’s fine! I decided to keep a journal in the comments section, leaving workout photos everyday. This would keep me ACCOUNTABLE. I had to speak my goals into existence, and I truly think this helped.

Day 2: It was time to start day 2. The day after the 1st day. Still at the start of this challenge… I was super sore, too. Nonetheless I got through that day. From then on, I knew the worst part was the run. I had my run decreased to 4 miles from 5, but the sharp pain from my ankle was crawling back. I was starting to get doubtful of this idea of mine.

Day 3: I fell asleep after dinner, and snoozed till 12:00am. When I woke up, I really didn’t want to follow through with the workout. I really really really wanted to just continue sleeping. Day 3 was probably the hardest day for me. I really just wanted to give up and return to my easy going life. I remembered my journal of photos on Facebook. I remembered making this my goal for this month. I knew I would regret it if I gave up. It would get easier, but I wouldn’t know that until I was there. So I eventually dragged myself out of bed, still half asleep, and just went for it. When it was over, I hit the showers, and immediately rewarded myself with the sleep I deserved.

Day 4-13: I started having e-dates with this one girl every night. #quarantined We talked for hours sometimes, and watched Netflix together too. Honestly, it was a lot of fun. BUT THE WORKOUTS. I never wanted to end our conversations early, but sometimes I did cause I had to make sure I got my day’s workout in. However when I didn’t, I would suffer and start them do them at 1:00AM or 2:00AM in the morning. BUT the workouts were indeed getting easier, they were becoming routine for me.

  • After Day 7, I made my 4th set of squats (x25) weighted by holding out a dumbbell.

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Day 14-27: And they did get easier! I felt like my body wasn’t as sore from the days before, and my ankle was getting better. The stretching before and after helped a ton. I still wanted to push though, so I added on more exercises after 2 weeks.

  • After Day 14, I added bicep curls (4x8) and tricep pulldowns with a band (4x8).

  • After Day 21, I added the ab wheel (4x8) and calf raises (2x50, once in the morning and once at night).

Day 30: I am DONE! I was so pumped to get through my exercises and my run. Never have I ever been so excited to finish that last 1/4 mile of my run. Drenched in sweat, I took my progress pictures.

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RESULTS:
Comparing the photos I took towards the beginning of the month, I didn’t notice too much of a physical difference. My figure for the most part pretty much looked the same. However upon closer inspection, I did see that I slimmed down a tad from my stomach and love handles. I didn’t do any back workouts, which explained absolutely 0 progress there. But my triceps were a lot more defined. These were from the tricep pushups and tricep pulldowns. Mentally, I felt amazing. Since the start of these workouts, I’ve had a clearer mindset and not many lethargic moments.

All in all, I’m really proud of myself that I got through this. The fact that I was mentally capable of pushing myself day after day says a lot. Even though I made slight adjustments, I’d say it’s not easy to commit. Sure I didn’t do the full 6.2 mile (10 km) run, but with every week I added on exercises. I wanted my other muscle groups to jump in on the fun too.

Would I do this again? Absolutely! I’ll most likely be pushing myself to do a tougher challenge next time around or maybe even just do it with the 10km run every day. I think for the month of May, I’m going to start doing my 4 day split routine again. This would be focusing on a different muscle group, maxing out it’s energy per day and allowing it to fully recover before repeating the following week. It’s been 5 months so far on this journey and I’ve made so much progress. I got to make my roots proud, aka Gainsquad. I’m 25 years old. Physically speaking, this time period right now is the peak of my life. I’m determined to keep this going and make the most out of it.

If you’re reading this and it’s quarantine season, I’d recommend you to use some of that free time and work on becoming a better version of who you are. That includes mentally too! If you need the extra time to rest or practice self-care, do it. But keep goals for yourself. Keep pushing. I believe that anybody is capable of doing anything they want as long as they commit and dedicate themselves to the cause. I believe in y’all !!!

celebrating march

February 26th, 2020
2:59PM

An idea was stirring up.

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For March I wanted my blog post to be about something different, something bigger than what I usually do. Why? Because it’s my birthday month! To be exact, my birthday is March 8th. I wanted to focus on something that celebrated other people’s birthday too for the month of March.

March is also Women’s History Month. I decided to have this post celebrate women within the dance community who have March birthdays. (International Women’s Day is on my actual birthday!) This meant that I’d have to find these individuals, and what other platform to use than Facebook.

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I quickly found several and reached out. Surprisingly, a majority of them were more than happy to be a part of my photography project. I would be coordinating days with each of them within the entirety of the month, before assembling them for a group shoot before March comes to a close. I also wanted it to be a group thing because they all don’t really know one another! It just so happens that they’re all from different dance teams within the tristate. They knew of each other though because as dancers, we constantly see one another during class, performances, and competitions. However, there’s just never a right time or moment to say hi. I decided to use my strength as a networker to bring together these individuals.

And these individuals were:

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I wanted the color scheme to be of warm colors to symbolize happiness and joy. March is an amazing month to be celebrated. It’s not just because it’s the month of their birthdays, but because it’s a month that celebrates the achievements of women past, present, and future. March is also when Spring arrives, allowing for flowers to sprout back up in their refreshing bright colors.

The shoots all were going so well. Some individuals I’ve shot with before and some completely new to modeling for photos. It was all fine though – we had a blast, catching up with each other as the shoots went on.

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Then there was a turn of events that set everything back. You guessed it – COVID-19 or the Coronavirus. I figure it’d be best if I put the last two shoots of Robyn and Yoo, as well as the group shoot, to a halt for now. Safety comes first, and besides we can close the project out for good another day.

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As the days went on, I’ve learned that many educational institutions have shifted their physical classrooms into online ones via Zoom. I myself have been using the application for work, so this made sense and it didn’t come as a total surprise. Then it came to me. Why don’t I just have a video chat with all of us? During these dark days, it’s important to stay sociable. We can have a good discussion on dance and women empowerment at the same time.

4 out of the 6 were able to make the call! Nonetheless, I appreciate that everybody was interested in joining. Thank you especially to Robyn, Celina, Luz, and Jennifer for taking the time to chat on the +1 hour video conference.

You can ACTUALLY find our call here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyQBxIAjVEk&feature=youtu.be

We decided it would be nice for the public to listen in on our conversation and learn how they could grow from it.

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We started with some introductions – name, a brief dance history, affiliated teams, favorite style, and something else we do besides dance. It became obvious that although we were all in the same community, but our backgrounds were all different. Some started with a contemporary/ballet background, while others through with hip-hop influence as a mere hobby.

 Some questions that were brought to the table consisted of:

  • How do you feel as a female dancer within this community?

  • Are there any changes that can be made?

  • Who are some of your favorite dancers and why?

  • How do you think we can push each other to grow as dancers during this quarantine?

  • What are your favorite places for class and why?

  • Are there anything you guys are doing right now to improve yourself as dancers?

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I’d say one that we particularly focused on is how we can push one another as dancers during this quarantine time. This was probably because it was so fresh to us with it just happening. Jen mentioned that, “Creativity works best when there are constraints.” This is a perfect opportunity for all dancers to grow whether that be exploring how they can choreograph or freestyle. They can draw inspiration from the more recent virtual classes being launched or maybe even take a step back and focus on foundations. We’ve had long years of dance under our belts, but sometimes it’s not a bad idea to revisit a stage from back then and have it reevaluated. With us now stuck indoors because of the virus, it’s refreshing to see people continuing to train and share on social media. It’s important to encourage one another and still have them moving as dancers. We’re all still growing, but in other methods.

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Our conversation came to an end eventually. However, I hope for it to never end. Whether it be these amazing people who participated in my project, or the readers on my blog, I want for us to push to make a change. Change the way we view women in dance and in society. When you have a voice, it’ll allow others just like you to have one as well.

mounttam

January 5th, 2020
2:32PM

Grace and I were just finishing up a shoot that Sunday in San Francisco.

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I landed the night before at about 7:00PM and proceeded to go to Grace’s meetup at the Brew Coop. This meetup was something she put together for fellow content creators to meet and connect. Actually here’s her website! It was also my first night meeting her! As we were coordinating details for our photography shoot the next day, she realized she had another shoot after mine. It turns out that I was also free post shoot, so we figured I could also come to their trip out to Mount Tam.  

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We quickly finished up our shoot at Sydney G. Walton Square since Adham and Mike were waiting for us nearby in their car. Upon interchanging the first couple words with one another, I found that these guys were really hella chill. The next hour and a half proceeded to be a lot of streetwear talk. We were vibing. I got a hold of their Instagram handles as well (listed towards the bottom), and checked out their work. I loved the content that they were putting out. The images showed the main focus on the kicks, but the composition of how they were positioned was clear as day. These dudes knew what they were doing. Also they’ll be coming to New York in April! Excited to meet again no doubt.

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When we got to a point up in the mountains, we decided to check up with Ted and his dog, Tobi. Ted and Tobi hopped in our car. He decided to leave his car parked in fear that his Tesla would run out of battery heading all the way up and back home. And so it was another 20 minutes of winding left and right. I was smushed between Grace and Ted, but what better way to get to know my new friends! Oh right, and Ted was also a streetwear enthusiast too. More vibes.

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As soon as we saw the fields of what looked like wheat, with the sun making them glisten, we knew we’ve arrived in the general area. There wasn’t any fog that day, but the place was nonetheless beautiful. It was an extremely versatile area to shoot in, as well. Getting out of the car, Adham got right to work. He knew the sort of shot he wanted – on the road with Mike skateboarding down and into the sun. They tried countless of times, getting the distance right and avoiding the cars. After that we met up with some other photographers, Ben and Keanu, and proceeded to go further up to the spot with the swing. And what a spot that was. It was like a fairytale.

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We all had so many different shots we wanted when we were in the general swing area. When you’re with a group of creators like this, it’s so inspiring. We were all so willing to help assist with shoot ideas, and it was just plain fun making the magic come to life. As the sunset was coming to a close I decided that I wanted to bang out a set of shots with Adham. This idea that came about was as spontaneous as this trip to Mount Tam. One - I was so creatively moved within those couple hours. Two – I have always wanted to go to Mount Tam and my first time was with people I’ve just met! Three – the colors of Adham’s outfit just went so well with the sunset and the vibe of the setting. It was time to make moves.

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We finished our adventure and it was time to go. Upon driving back to Ted’s car, we saw the darkness and fog start creeping up. It was frighteningly stunning to say the least. As we almost approached the gate to Mount Tam, some park rangers stopped us and notified us that the gate in that direction was closed and we would have to take the other route to exit. We were screwed. What about Ted’s car? We figured the safest bet would be to get Ted’s car that night in case anything were to happen to it. AND SO, we took the long way. We went the other direction, all the way down the mountain, went around, and then back up the original way. The last leg of the trip took us an extra hour, but the mix of nostalgia from Mike’s humble EDM beginnings and witty raps of Logic kept us going strong. During the drive back up the mountain, we were anticipating after every turn to see Ted’s car. Upon arriving, we rejoiced and quickly sped back home.

What an adventure. When we were driving to Tam, we were talking about what were some of the most memorable adventures we had in our life. Funny enough our trip that day would be one we would not be forgetting.

@gracefkim - Grace
@lazysnorlax - Adham
@retro__mike - Mike
@get.fit.ted - Ted
@ohkeanu - Keanu
@benaldrich_ - Ben

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Outfit includes:
FW’17 Kith Box Logo Hoodie
American Eagle Jeans
Air Jordan 1s - Turbo Green